Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Saturday & Sunday, August 23 & 24

Saturday, August 23
Jeff is apologetic and recognizes that he has taken out his frustrations on me again. He hasn't had his usual stress relief of martial arts to get his ya-yas out and is very sorry for what he did. I'm doing my best to understand that he's been under a tremendous amount of strain but I still feel like I was kicked when I was down....really, really down, the worst down in my life. I'm working to try to get rid of that negative energy and move on toward what I hope will be progress in the subject of stress release for him. We need to find an acceptable solution for him to get rid of tension if we are to stay together.
However, I have pulled something inside, feels like, maybe because of all the crying, maybe because I lifted my leg in a weird way, I don't know. The pain has come back and my lower back is killing me. I'm totally backed up and it makes me sick to my stomach. The pain is almost as bad as when I was first released from the hospital and this worries me. So, though I wanted to try to do more research into the flowers for patients idea, I need to go back to crawling instead of walking or running. I have a pretty boring 2 days of napping, watching TV and reading. Yuck, yuck, yuck....this really does suck....

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