Wow, what a ride. Turns out that the major pain that I was having was a liver abscess the size of an apple. Most liver abscesses begin as a result of having abdominal surgery of any kind. I've had two, so that ups my odds of a germy nasti or two gaining access to my organs. Two different strands of bacterium got in there and starting working me over without my knowing. Anyway, it took me out and put me in the hospital for another 18 days during the first few weeks of September. Loads of pain and slow progress, but I'm on the road to recovery now and happy for it. We rode out Ike while we were there but MD Anderson did quite well after the hurricane passed, thank goodness. Many of our friends & family were not as lucky, with some of them losing electricity for nearly 2.5 weeks. Yikes!
Anyway, I'm back at home and, after going in this last weekend for a CT scan to check on the healing process, we have great news. I'm still feeling a bit low on energy so I will cheat and post the April Update that I sent to all the folks who've been supporting me here, below, instead of writing it all out again.
At this point, I'm not so sure I can do the catch up work that would be involved with writing this blog, so I will focus more on how the first visit to the hospital went, when I had the surgery done for the cancererous Oid in the days to come. I still need to flesh those out and give you the skinny on how all of that went.....It IS, after all, what I started this blog for, right?
Here's the update and there will be more to come when I feel better:
Hi guys!
Hope we haven't been sending too many updates, but lots of folks have been asking what's up, so I'm sending this on to the whole list of folks who initially sent well wishes and prayers. Still so grateful for that!!!
GREAT NEWS:
I had a CAT scan on Friday and we just got the results late yesterday afternoon. Though the docs had said that it would take many months for the apple sized liver abscess to heal, your prayers, good vibes, well wishes, good drugs, boring days of bed rest and Jeff's Loving care have done the nearly impossible. Turns out that I am nearly healed up!!!! The abscess is down to just a few small pockets of infection and I'll be on antibiotics for the next three weeks to clean that part up. Then, (knock wood) we should have "life as usual," which sounds boring but, trust me, is damned exciting after the boredom I've had to deal with! The docs were amazed and truly happy to see this kind of progress in so little time and Jeff and I were, too. We really only expected an improvement of about 20-25% healing, but I only have about 10% of the original abscess to fight now. Turns out that some of the dizziness/sweats/chills and other unpleasant GI symptoms I've experienced are probably due to the pharmacy of medicines that I'm currently taking. (Really, you wouldn't believe the list, but I'll be out of THOSE woods in three weeks, we hope.) I'm still feeling pain and having dizziness and nausea but that should recede fairly soon and I'm in the process of weaning myself off the pain meds now. I'm going to drive MYSELF to Kohl's tonight to do some shopping. YEEE-and frickin'-HAA!! =)
I have to tell you this: Jeff has been amazing during the last 15+ days of my home stay and during the times that I was in the hospital. While we were here in Cedar Park, he's set his alarm so that he can bring me my medicine in the middle of the night. He's brought me breakfast in bed every single day that I've been recuperating here in NW Austin so that I could take the meds that make me nauseated on an empty stomach. (Wow.) We went out and ordered up a Lazy-Boy recliner after about 3 days of being back home and Jeff ran to get it the very next day, even with his bum shoulder. He's done my chores and his own and has put aside his own wants and needs in order to cater to my own. He's been driving me around on car trips when I'm starved for SOME kind of stimulation outside of the house. I really do feel blessed to have such an angel for a husband and I'm doing a one person "wave," standing ovation and 21 gun salute to the man I married. Okay, maybe not 21 guns, but you get the picture.
Also, major thanks to Selia and Kent, who've been letting us crash in their guest cottage during doctor visits and after hospital recuperation. The place is like a very comfortable B&B, we're not intruding on anyone's space and it's closer to the hospitals than our family and friends out in Cypress, so it's just been a Godsend. For those who don't know, Ken and Sue Gaines live next to the guest house and it's always a pleasure to visit with them. We will someday create a musician's commune and join Costco, doing everything in bulk and growing organic veggies in a garden. Selia says we'll need a really, really big front porch with multiple rockers. I think we'll need to make them with custom arms so that we can fit our guitars/other instruments into them with ease. We'll need to work out the details later on, for sure.... =)
Anyway, I hope this finds you well, healthy and happy! I sure do appreciate all the Love, prayers, good vibes, jokes and encouraging words that you guys have sent, you just don't know how much. It's hard to have a negative attitude when you have an army of friends and family bolstering you up and ya'll have been incredible. Damn, I'm misting up just writing this, so I need to stop. I think the words, "Thank You Very Much," will do it for now.
Love to all,
:o) April
PS: FYI, I am TERRIBLY behind on my email responses and need to catch up, so please accept my apologies if I haven't replied to a message you might've sent me. Still can't do as much as I would like to, but will be back to 'normal' soon, I hopes.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Tuesday, August 26
Tuesday, August 26
Today is filled with more pain so I call in to Doc. Lambert's to ask what can be done and to inquire about the possibility of more pain meds. They can get me into see the doc in early September but the doc is out until next week....Pain meds are out of the question from her. I'm so very unhappy about that 'cause I really feel as though I've pulled something in me belly. I may need to go in to see Dr. Bala to ask for some pain meds tomorrow. I find it hard to even type today, so I take one of my few precious remaining Hydrocodone 500 pills to alleviate the constant cramping. It's just so exhausting to deal with constant pain! =(
Jeff finds a used cell phone on Ebay to replace mine, which is held together with electrical tape and has been for the last several months. Awesome! Alex, our son, has picked today to become unhappy and antagonistic, though. He is homesick, misses Houston, and doesn't want to take the math assessment test today. This he lets us know about in no uncertain terms! Jeff and I go out to Yama Sushi to chow down, leaving Alex behind to take his math compass test at ACC, calm down and fend for himself for dinner. Before Yama, we go to the mall so that I could try on thumb rings. I'll explain more about that later....
After Yama (Yumma!), we hit Best Buy to look at car stereo/CD player/MP3 players/Bluetooth capable receiver thingies for Jeff's SUV as a late B-Day present and find a Sony that does everything but change a baby's diaper and walk the dog! That's the one but we'll have to wait until Friday to get it 'cause the 12% coupon won't take effect until then. So, it's off to TJ Maxx to look at thumb rings. Nope, they don't have 'em. Hmmm....what else can we do to put off going home? The Hydrocodone is working and I'm feeling better now than I have for a long time, so I want to take advantage of it. Ah, HA! We need to get some Kefir from Randall's!
HELPFUL TIP: Kefir is a dairy/yogurt product that will introduce 11 different "good" bacterium into your system. I get the feeling that mine needs this so I will be slugging down pomegranate flavored sludge for the next several days in the attempt to regulate my system. The consistency is hard for me to get used to but it worked the last time I was hospitalized so I'll give it another go. Might help you, too, if your system gets out of whack. This commercial break is now over....we return you to your regularly scheduled program....
After getting the Kefir, Jeff says that he needs to hit Academy, so off we go to putter around there for a bit.
Finally, we go home. Alex is quietly filling out applications online and has already gone back up to the mall with filled out applications to turn them in. He tells us that he has an interview at two different places and is being very polite. He didn't do well on the test because he didn't have much time to study but he might have another chance to exempt himself from taking the pre-college algebra class. We'll see. No apologies for his poor behavior earlier, yet, but I am very happy to see that he's doing the right thing now and is looking at his life in a different light. It might take some time but I'm sure he will say he's sorry. He has such a good heart and is a really good kid, but is having some growing pains. Don't we all....
For the record, he has choices. He can go back to Houston and get a full time job, find a place to live, find roomies and support himself fully for a year, after which we will be happy to re-explore the college idea. Or, he can stay here in Austin with us, live by our rules, get a part time job, go to college, be fed, clothed, boarded and have quality healthcare while bettering his chances for a good career and life. Hmmmm....tough call, right? =)
I love my kiddo and know that he is suffering....It is hard to leave the only city that you can remember growing up in. However, I know that, with his amazing personality, it won't take any time at all for him to find a new group of friends to hang out with. (He can meet 'em at college and at work, don'tcha know?) He is going to Houston tomorrow for a doctor's appointment and will stay the night to see friends so that might help with the homesickness. However, he will have to figure out a way to make some money for gas for the return trip, 'cause we won't pay for the extras and he has chosen not to ride in with his Dad to go to the doc. appt. Tough Love is so tough but it is essential right now.
Anyway, the tornadic activity is over and Jeff and Alex settle down in front of the TV. I settle down to my computer to search for 14K gold, 4mm, comfort fit gold thumb rings/bands. I want a heavy band as it will be something that I will wear for the rest of my life. This ring will be my early birthday present, so that I can justify the price, and will be a reminder of what I've been through. It will be my constant reminder that I am in God's hands, always. I find one that is only a bit more expensive than the least expensive one, but this one has free engraving! I'm in, all in and it looks beautiful! I buy it and ask that they engrave this inside the band:
In God's Hands
I think it's perfect and I become so overwhelmed after ordering it that I begin to cry. Whew! My emotions are pretty raw this week! This ring is going to put out powerful vibes to whomever inherits it when I'm gone, kinda like a MUCH nicer version of the ring in "The Lord of the Rings."
Early to bed tonight because both Jeff AND Alex are going into Houston tomorrow, but in separate cars. Jeff is going to pick up the pop-up Taj Mahal and attend some work meetings there at the home campus. My back has been hurting so badly that I take a Soma to work with the Hydrocodone and, for the first time in days, I feel normal with very little pain. However, the Soma makes me woozy and I'm out pretty quickly after the lights go out. Night, night....
Today is filled with more pain so I call in to Doc. Lambert's to ask what can be done and to inquire about the possibility of more pain meds. They can get me into see the doc in early September but the doc is out until next week....Pain meds are out of the question from her. I'm so very unhappy about that 'cause I really feel as though I've pulled something in me belly. I may need to go in to see Dr. Bala to ask for some pain meds tomorrow. I find it hard to even type today, so I take one of my few precious remaining Hydrocodone 500 pills to alleviate the constant cramping. It's just so exhausting to deal with constant pain! =(
Jeff finds a used cell phone on Ebay to replace mine, which is held together with electrical tape and has been for the last several months. Awesome! Alex, our son, has picked today to become unhappy and antagonistic, though. He is homesick, misses Houston, and doesn't want to take the math assessment test today. This he lets us know about in no uncertain terms! Jeff and I go out to Yama Sushi to chow down, leaving Alex behind to take his math compass test at ACC, calm down and fend for himself for dinner. Before Yama, we go to the mall so that I could try on thumb rings. I'll explain more about that later....
After Yama (Yumma!), we hit Best Buy to look at car stereo/CD player/MP3 players/Bluetooth capable receiver thingies for Jeff's SUV as a late B-Day present and find a Sony that does everything but change a baby's diaper and walk the dog! That's the one but we'll have to wait until Friday to get it 'cause the 12% coupon won't take effect until then. So, it's off to TJ Maxx to look at thumb rings. Nope, they don't have 'em. Hmmm....what else can we do to put off going home? The Hydrocodone is working and I'm feeling better now than I have for a long time, so I want to take advantage of it. Ah, HA! We need to get some Kefir from Randall's!
HELPFUL TIP: Kefir is a dairy/yogurt product that will introduce 11 different "good" bacterium into your system. I get the feeling that mine needs this so I will be slugging down pomegranate flavored sludge for the next several days in the attempt to regulate my system. The consistency is hard for me to get used to but it worked the last time I was hospitalized so I'll give it another go. Might help you, too, if your system gets out of whack. This commercial break is now over....we return you to your regularly scheduled program....
After getting the Kefir, Jeff says that he needs to hit Academy, so off we go to putter around there for a bit.
Finally, we go home. Alex is quietly filling out applications online and has already gone back up to the mall with filled out applications to turn them in. He tells us that he has an interview at two different places and is being very polite. He didn't do well on the test because he didn't have much time to study but he might have another chance to exempt himself from taking the pre-college algebra class. We'll see. No apologies for his poor behavior earlier, yet, but I am very happy to see that he's doing the right thing now and is looking at his life in a different light. It might take some time but I'm sure he will say he's sorry. He has such a good heart and is a really good kid, but is having some growing pains. Don't we all....
For the record, he has choices. He can go back to Houston and get a full time job, find a place to live, find roomies and support himself fully for a year, after which we will be happy to re-explore the college idea. Or, he can stay here in Austin with us, live by our rules, get a part time job, go to college, be fed, clothed, boarded and have quality healthcare while bettering his chances for a good career and life. Hmmmm....tough call, right? =)
I love my kiddo and know that he is suffering....It is hard to leave the only city that you can remember growing up in. However, I know that, with his amazing personality, it won't take any time at all for him to find a new group of friends to hang out with. (He can meet 'em at college and at work, don'tcha know?) He is going to Houston tomorrow for a doctor's appointment and will stay the night to see friends so that might help with the homesickness. However, he will have to figure out a way to make some money for gas for the return trip, 'cause we won't pay for the extras and he has chosen not to ride in with his Dad to go to the doc. appt. Tough Love is so tough but it is essential right now.
Anyway, the tornadic activity is over and Jeff and Alex settle down in front of the TV. I settle down to my computer to search for 14K gold, 4mm, comfort fit gold thumb rings/bands. I want a heavy band as it will be something that I will wear for the rest of my life. This ring will be my early birthday present, so that I can justify the price, and will be a reminder of what I've been through. It will be my constant reminder that I am in God's hands, always. I find one that is only a bit more expensive than the least expensive one, but this one has free engraving! I'm in, all in and it looks beautiful! I buy it and ask that they engrave this inside the band:
In God's Hands
I think it's perfect and I become so overwhelmed after ordering it that I begin to cry. Whew! My emotions are pretty raw this week! This ring is going to put out powerful vibes to whomever inherits it when I'm gone, kinda like a MUCH nicer version of the ring in "The Lord of the Rings."
Early to bed tonight because both Jeff AND Alex are going into Houston tomorrow, but in separate cars. Jeff is going to pick up the pop-up Taj Mahal and attend some work meetings there at the home campus. My back has been hurting so badly that I take a Soma to work with the Hydrocodone and, for the first time in days, I feel normal with very little pain. However, the Soma makes me woozy and I'm out pretty quickly after the lights go out. Night, night....
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Monday, August 25
Monday, August 25
Though I'm still feeling puny, I need to go with Alex to make sure that he's registered properly for the Fall semester. (He has some previous issues with math transfers that might crop up, which is why I'm going with.) We go up to ACC and meet with a counselor who tells us that we'll have to wait because of a problem (really?) regarding Alex's Math classes and whether or not the class that he's already taken will transfer over. Alex may have to take another placement test, in other words, but this counselor is working to get proof that he's ready for College Algebra. We thank her and head back home to wait for her call. She calls a bit later to let us know that, yes, Cy-Fair College sent a fax but that it was inconclusive proof that Alex is ready for C. Alg. Geeeez! Anyway, she's going to work on finding out more about that and we hope that we can get Alex all set up within the next couple of days.
Jeff and I head out to HEB and do the grocery shopping. I'm still feeling kinda poopy but am SO bored that anything outside of the house sounds appealing. We get back and end up watching some TV until bedtime. Yawn. Boring, I know. I will be calling Dr. Lambert in the morning to ask about this pain 'cause I don't think it's normal and I'm about to run out of pain medication. The pain level is about a 6-7, with occasional spikes of 9, without the pain meds, so I'm really pretty sure I need them for awhile longer. Hope they'll agree and/or let me know what I should do in order to alleviate this garbage. I am trying very hard to be positive, but I'm afraid I'm failing a bit since having the argument with Jeff. I'm a very emotionally based person....Physical pain is NOTHING compared to emotional pain, but when you put the two together, it's hard to be optimistic. I vow to get back to that, though, and the emails from a few friends help to bolster me. I have printed one of their messages out and have it taped to my mirror so that I can read it every morning and at night. The words she sent are just that encouraging...Thank you, Kathy.... =)
Though I'm still feeling puny, I need to go with Alex to make sure that he's registered properly for the Fall semester. (He has some previous issues with math transfers that might crop up, which is why I'm going with.) We go up to ACC and meet with a counselor who tells us that we'll have to wait because of a problem (really?) regarding Alex's Math classes and whether or not the class that he's already taken will transfer over. Alex may have to take another placement test, in other words, but this counselor is working to get proof that he's ready for College Algebra. We thank her and head back home to wait for her call. She calls a bit later to let us know that, yes, Cy-Fair College sent a fax but that it was inconclusive proof that Alex is ready for C. Alg. Geeeez! Anyway, she's going to work on finding out more about that and we hope that we can get Alex all set up within the next couple of days.
Jeff and I head out to HEB and do the grocery shopping. I'm still feeling kinda poopy but am SO bored that anything outside of the house sounds appealing. We get back and end up watching some TV until bedtime. Yawn. Boring, I know. I will be calling Dr. Lambert in the morning to ask about this pain 'cause I don't think it's normal and I'm about to run out of pain medication. The pain level is about a 6-7, with occasional spikes of 9, without the pain meds, so I'm really pretty sure I need them for awhile longer. Hope they'll agree and/or let me know what I should do in order to alleviate this garbage. I am trying very hard to be positive, but I'm afraid I'm failing a bit since having the argument with Jeff. I'm a very emotionally based person....Physical pain is NOTHING compared to emotional pain, but when you put the two together, it's hard to be optimistic. I vow to get back to that, though, and the emails from a few friends help to bolster me. I have printed one of their messages out and have it taped to my mirror so that I can read it every morning and at night. The words she sent are just that encouraging...Thank you, Kathy.... =)
Saturday & Sunday, August 23 & 24
Saturday, August 23
Jeff is apologetic and recognizes that he has taken out his frustrations on me again. He hasn't had his usual stress relief of martial arts to get his ya-yas out and is very sorry for what he did. I'm doing my best to understand that he's been under a tremendous amount of strain but I still feel like I was kicked when I was down....really, really down, the worst down in my life. I'm working to try to get rid of that negative energy and move on toward what I hope will be progress in the subject of stress release for him. We need to find an acceptable solution for him to get rid of tension if we are to stay together.
However, I have pulled something inside, feels like, maybe because of all the crying, maybe because I lifted my leg in a weird way, I don't know. The pain has come back and my lower back is killing me. I'm totally backed up and it makes me sick to my stomach. The pain is almost as bad as when I was first released from the hospital and this worries me. So, though I wanted to try to do more research into the flowers for patients idea, I need to go back to crawling instead of walking or running. I have a pretty boring 2 days of napping, watching TV and reading. Yuck, yuck, yuck....this really does suck....
Jeff is apologetic and recognizes that he has taken out his frustrations on me again. He hasn't had his usual stress relief of martial arts to get his ya-yas out and is very sorry for what he did. I'm doing my best to understand that he's been under a tremendous amount of strain but I still feel like I was kicked when I was down....really, really down, the worst down in my life. I'm working to try to get rid of that negative energy and move on toward what I hope will be progress in the subject of stress release for him. We need to find an acceptable solution for him to get rid of tension if we are to stay together.
However, I have pulled something inside, feels like, maybe because of all the crying, maybe because I lifted my leg in a weird way, I don't know. The pain has come back and my lower back is killing me. I'm totally backed up and it makes me sick to my stomach. The pain is almost as bad as when I was first released from the hospital and this worries me. So, though I wanted to try to do more research into the flowers for patients idea, I need to go back to crawling instead of walking or running. I have a pretty boring 2 days of napping, watching TV and reading. Yuck, yuck, yuck....this really does suck....
Friday, August 22
Friday, August 22
I end up napping in my own bed on and off from 8 until about 9:30ish and then get up to start the day. I have three things to do today that will distract me from my problems:
1. Highlight my hair with a 2 step highlighting kit, a long and drawn out process,
2. Research local florist shops to find some who might donate broken rosebuds toward my “Roses for Patients” program, and
3. Go to my 2:30 oncology appointment.
My sister was set to come over this evening for home movies, but I canceled that because of the tension between Jeff and myself. I am still overwrought, feeling quite betrayed, and cannot pretend that everything is okay. Steph offers to come get me and “sweep me away” for dinner and a movie and I’m very happy to accept. So, we make plans for the early show of “Dark Knight” and I get into the bathroom to highlight my hair.
The reason for the highlights is that I won’t be able to do anything brutal to my hair when and if I begin chemo. Plus, I entered the hospital with a bit o’ dark rootage and felt a bit like some sort of refugee, though my manicure and pedicure were perfect. =) I finally finish and emerge from the bathroom smelling like a chemist shop, but newly blonde with natural looking strawberry blonde highlights. Refugee no more!
I research the florists, get the names, addresses, phone numbers and then it’s time for the oncologist’s. Jeff had told me earlier that he didn’t think he could make it to this appointment because of work and, in fact, wondered why I was going at all. He was really worn out when he said this. I explained that Dr. Bala is my first opinion and Dr. Yao will be my second opinion and, if in fact I DO end up doing chemo, it will be dripped into me at Dr. Bala’s office here in Cedar Park, not in Houston. So, though Jeff offers to come with me after all, I decline the offer and ended up driving myself to Dr. Bala’s. I have vowed not to accept any assistance from Jeff unless completely necessary and I will stick to that as much as I can.
(An aside: I do not know how to write about this trouble that Jeff and I are now having, but feel the need to be completely honest in my blog because of the impact that it could have on others in our situation. However, I don’t want to impinge on Jeff’s privacy, either, and you’re only hearing my side of the story, which is never fair. I no longer know how to write about my time in the hospital and about Jeff’s loving treatment of me because Jeff’s version of that time and mine are now SO incongruous, completely at odds. I just can’t believe this is happening, but I will try to be conscious of privacy while relaying the problems that cancer patients and their caregivers might face when battling this crap together.)
Dr. Bala and I sit down to discuss chemo. The best thing that Dr. Bala can compare my rare Oid to is the adenocarcinoid features of colo-rectal cancer. Goblet Cell Carcinoids have two ways of operating, though, so the colo-rectal comparison is sketchy at best. The real worry is the fact that Dr. Basa unwittingly put FOUR rows of staples through the Oid when she operated and cut into it twice. Then, she rinsed my abdominal cavity with a wash of saline and antibiotics, as is usual when doing an appendectomy. She didn’t know that she might've been spreading seed cells all over my ab cavity and I do not blame her for this at all. However, seed cells are the monster in the closet that I am now afraid of. When one cuts into a cancerous tumor, it is possible that seed cells can be released into the abdominal cavity, the peritoneum. Guess what Goblet cells like to nest in? Peritoneal tissues and the surrounding tissues of your organs. With colo-rectal cancer, the recurrence rates are 20-30% for it to come back. However, my brand of cancer doesn’t have much data on it, so it is best to wait to see what Dr. Yao has to say about it over at MD Anderson. Doctor Bala tells me that chemo will only help my chances less than 5%, but then amends that for even less, more like less than 3% because of the Goblet Cell w/ Signet Ring aspects situation. Looks like I will have to talk with Dr. Yao in order to make a final decision. I ask Dr. Bala what SHE would do were she in my shoes and she tells me, laughing, “I’d take the money and go to Europe!” I love her honesty! She tells me that, if she thought that the chemo would do me any good, she’d be begging me to do it, but she doesn’t think that the non-metastisizing sort of threat that I’m under will benefit at all from chemo. It’s just too hard to get the chemo over to the seed cells unless they have already gotten situated into a place where the chemo could find them. Good ‘nuf. I wait 20 minutes to make a follow up appointment for 3 months later, just in case, and then head back home feeling woozy and sweaty. I think I did too much today and hit the sofa when I get home to rest up for the evening with Stephanie.
Sweet Steph comes over right after the sky falls down on Cedar Park and we run off into the rain to Jason’s Deli, next to Alamo Drafthouse. Alamo Drafthouse serves food, wine and beer, but Jason’s Deli has a better selection, so we eat there. The movie is really quite good. Heath Ledger lived up to the hype and was one creeeeepy son of a bitch lunatic in the movie. Job well done! Once we got back to the house, I realized that Jeff and Alex were gone. I called Jeff, got his voicemail and left him this message: “I’ve got a $20.00 in my purse that says that you and Alex are watching “Dark Knight!” Sure enough, Jeff calls back and lets me know that the credits were just rolling at the theater that they went to. Too funny! They come back to the house and we all sit down to a glass of wine to discuss the movie. The evening turns out kinda nice and the tension in the air is lessening to a small degree, which is good. We’ll see what tomorrow brings….
I end up napping in my own bed on and off from 8 until about 9:30ish and then get up to start the day. I have three things to do today that will distract me from my problems:
1. Highlight my hair with a 2 step highlighting kit, a long and drawn out process,
2. Research local florist shops to find some who might donate broken rosebuds toward my “Roses for Patients” program, and
3. Go to my 2:30 oncology appointment.
My sister was set to come over this evening for home movies, but I canceled that because of the tension between Jeff and myself. I am still overwrought, feeling quite betrayed, and cannot pretend that everything is okay. Steph offers to come get me and “sweep me away” for dinner and a movie and I’m very happy to accept. So, we make plans for the early show of “Dark Knight” and I get into the bathroom to highlight my hair.
The reason for the highlights is that I won’t be able to do anything brutal to my hair when and if I begin chemo. Plus, I entered the hospital with a bit o’ dark rootage and felt a bit like some sort of refugee, though my manicure and pedicure were perfect. =) I finally finish and emerge from the bathroom smelling like a chemist shop, but newly blonde with natural looking strawberry blonde highlights. Refugee no more!
I research the florists, get the names, addresses, phone numbers and then it’s time for the oncologist’s. Jeff had told me earlier that he didn’t think he could make it to this appointment because of work and, in fact, wondered why I was going at all. He was really worn out when he said this. I explained that Dr. Bala is my first opinion and Dr. Yao will be my second opinion and, if in fact I DO end up doing chemo, it will be dripped into me at Dr. Bala’s office here in Cedar Park, not in Houston. So, though Jeff offers to come with me after all, I decline the offer and ended up driving myself to Dr. Bala’s. I have vowed not to accept any assistance from Jeff unless completely necessary and I will stick to that as much as I can.
(An aside: I do not know how to write about this trouble that Jeff and I are now having, but feel the need to be completely honest in my blog because of the impact that it could have on others in our situation. However, I don’t want to impinge on Jeff’s privacy, either, and you’re only hearing my side of the story, which is never fair. I no longer know how to write about my time in the hospital and about Jeff’s loving treatment of me because Jeff’s version of that time and mine are now SO incongruous, completely at odds. I just can’t believe this is happening, but I will try to be conscious of privacy while relaying the problems that cancer patients and their caregivers might face when battling this crap together.)
Dr. Bala and I sit down to discuss chemo. The best thing that Dr. Bala can compare my rare Oid to is the adenocarcinoid features of colo-rectal cancer. Goblet Cell Carcinoids have two ways of operating, though, so the colo-rectal comparison is sketchy at best. The real worry is the fact that Dr. Basa unwittingly put FOUR rows of staples through the Oid when she operated and cut into it twice. Then, she rinsed my abdominal cavity with a wash of saline and antibiotics, as is usual when doing an appendectomy. She didn’t know that she might've been spreading seed cells all over my ab cavity and I do not blame her for this at all. However, seed cells are the monster in the closet that I am now afraid of. When one cuts into a cancerous tumor, it is possible that seed cells can be released into the abdominal cavity, the peritoneum. Guess what Goblet cells like to nest in? Peritoneal tissues and the surrounding tissues of your organs. With colo-rectal cancer, the recurrence rates are 20-30% for it to come back. However, my brand of cancer doesn’t have much data on it, so it is best to wait to see what Dr. Yao has to say about it over at MD Anderson. Doctor Bala tells me that chemo will only help my chances less than 5%, but then amends that for even less, more like less than 3% because of the Goblet Cell w/ Signet Ring aspects situation. Looks like I will have to talk with Dr. Yao in order to make a final decision. I ask Dr. Bala what SHE would do were she in my shoes and she tells me, laughing, “I’d take the money and go to Europe!” I love her honesty! She tells me that, if she thought that the chemo would do me any good, she’d be begging me to do it, but she doesn’t think that the non-metastisizing sort of threat that I’m under will benefit at all from chemo. It’s just too hard to get the chemo over to the seed cells unless they have already gotten situated into a place where the chemo could find them. Good ‘nuf. I wait 20 minutes to make a follow up appointment for 3 months later, just in case, and then head back home feeling woozy and sweaty. I think I did too much today and hit the sofa when I get home to rest up for the evening with Stephanie.
Sweet Steph comes over right after the sky falls down on Cedar Park and we run off into the rain to Jason’s Deli, next to Alamo Drafthouse. Alamo Drafthouse serves food, wine and beer, but Jason’s Deli has a better selection, so we eat there. The movie is really quite good. Heath Ledger lived up to the hype and was one creeeeepy son of a bitch lunatic in the movie. Job well done! Once we got back to the house, I realized that Jeff and Alex were gone. I called Jeff, got his voicemail and left him this message: “I’ve got a $20.00 in my purse that says that you and Alex are watching “Dark Knight!” Sure enough, Jeff calls back and lets me know that the credits were just rolling at the theater that they went to. Too funny! They come back to the house and we all sit down to a glass of wine to discuss the movie. The evening turns out kinda nice and the tension in the air is lessening to a small degree, which is good. We’ll see what tomorrow brings….
Thursday, August 21
Thursday, August 21
Thursday is get organized day. Jeff is up early to walk the dog, water the plants, feed the kitties and then it’s off to work upstairs and I don’t see him for a lot of the day. Conference calls. I need to catch up on email, bills, sorting mail and some other items and so spend most of the day doing that, along with some other mundane chores. I get the feeling that something is wrong with Jeff but can’t put my finger on it. He seems very standoffish today. We go to CVS on the way to go grocery shopping and, when I ask if something is wrong, it turns out that, yes, Jeff has a beef with me, among some other pretty serious stressors. We have our first argument since the surgery and I am VERY upset about the subject matter. I am not going to share the intimate details, but I DO think it is very, very important for a caregiver to have some sort of stress relief system in place or, at least, find a caregiver support system and/or group so that they do not feel neglected or alone in their un-asked for positions. Jeff claims that I ordered him around and mistreated him in the hospital. I DID NOT DO THIS, I'M POSITIVE. I was extremely careful to be polite and nice because he was doing so much. Now, I feel betrayed. After his accusations, I don’t know how to feel about our time in the hospital because his beef with me regards that time and how he perceived it vs. how I perceived it. He was AWESOME in the hospital, I mean AMAZINGLY patient and giving and was the best nurse I could’ve asked for. I was blown away by the fact that, no matter how many times I had to ask him to do something for me, he was there to do it willingly and lovingly. I constantly thanked him and told him how grateful I was for his care. I told the nurses that he’d developed a halo over his head and wings on his back and told anyone who would listen how lucky I was to have him there. He slept in the room on an uncomfortable chair/bed for all but one or two nights during my stay, and that’s with his shoulder out of whack. I tried to keep the am nurses from waking him but they usually did, anyway, and then he was up in the morning to start all over again. Like I said, absolutely amazing. I told him that I thought he was wonderful VERY often. However, I don’t think he thinks that anyone was looking after him during that time. His birthday came and went during that period with only a bit of a nod and celebration, though I did as much as I could do in my condition, considering. Anyway, the problem extends far beyond that and we are uphappy with one another. The stress can be brutal and I hope that we’ll be able to work this out but I am sooooo upset with him for polluting what I thought was one of the most loving times of our lives with complete misperceptions/fabrications born of caregiver stress. The lesson to learn here is to ask for help for your caregiver, if you are the patient. Most guys are not good at this, so it might be a good idea to offer up the idea for them or make an appointment for them to join a caregiver’s support group so they don’t feel alone. I take my things into the other bedroom for the evening and don’t get much sleep. Into every life, a little rain must fall….
Thursday is get organized day. Jeff is up early to walk the dog, water the plants, feed the kitties and then it’s off to work upstairs and I don’t see him for a lot of the day. Conference calls. I need to catch up on email, bills, sorting mail and some other items and so spend most of the day doing that, along with some other mundane chores. I get the feeling that something is wrong with Jeff but can’t put my finger on it. He seems very standoffish today. We go to CVS on the way to go grocery shopping and, when I ask if something is wrong, it turns out that, yes, Jeff has a beef with me, among some other pretty serious stressors. We have our first argument since the surgery and I am VERY upset about the subject matter. I am not going to share the intimate details, but I DO think it is very, very important for a caregiver to have some sort of stress relief system in place or, at least, find a caregiver support system and/or group so that they do not feel neglected or alone in their un-asked for positions. Jeff claims that I ordered him around and mistreated him in the hospital. I DID NOT DO THIS, I'M POSITIVE. I was extremely careful to be polite and nice because he was doing so much. Now, I feel betrayed. After his accusations, I don’t know how to feel about our time in the hospital because his beef with me regards that time and how he perceived it vs. how I perceived it. He was AWESOME in the hospital, I mean AMAZINGLY patient and giving and was the best nurse I could’ve asked for. I was blown away by the fact that, no matter how many times I had to ask him to do something for me, he was there to do it willingly and lovingly. I constantly thanked him and told him how grateful I was for his care. I told the nurses that he’d developed a halo over his head and wings on his back and told anyone who would listen how lucky I was to have him there. He slept in the room on an uncomfortable chair/bed for all but one or two nights during my stay, and that’s with his shoulder out of whack. I tried to keep the am nurses from waking him but they usually did, anyway, and then he was up in the morning to start all over again. Like I said, absolutely amazing. I told him that I thought he was wonderful VERY often. However, I don’t think he thinks that anyone was looking after him during that time. His birthday came and went during that period with only a bit of a nod and celebration, though I did as much as I could do in my condition, considering. Anyway, the problem extends far beyond that and we are uphappy with one another. The stress can be brutal and I hope that we’ll be able to work this out but I am sooooo upset with him for polluting what I thought was one of the most loving times of our lives with complete misperceptions/fabrications born of caregiver stress. The lesson to learn here is to ask for help for your caregiver, if you are the patient. Most guys are not good at this, so it might be a good idea to offer up the idea for them or make an appointment for them to join a caregiver’s support group so they don’t feel alone. I take my things into the other bedroom for the evening and don’t get much sleep. Into every life, a little rain must fall….
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Wednesday, August 20
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Jeff and I get up at about 8am but it seems like 6am because of the billowing dark clouds just outside the windows. Dark, dark, dark! Wow, is it going to STORM today! We get cleaned up and start up the first of two loads of laundry. Jeff ends up doing most of the tidying and cleaning of the apartment because my tummy has decided to be obstinate and I am very much distressed with nausea and cramps. My body just doesn’t seem to want to leap and bound into new health but prefers a slow army crawl, with an occasional jig-jog, instead. After a bit of rest and a few crackers w/ cheese, I feel much better and do a bit of my share to help out. We take the recyclables to Selia’s garage and then take over the refridgeritables and flower arrangement to her place cause we can’t take ‘em with us. (No room at the inn with the dog in the back of my little Maxima.)
Selia has two baby birds that she is nursing and two new additions to her menagerie, a rooster named Jasper and a hen with no name as yet. Funny, I don’t remember Snow White cohabitating with barnyard animals, just woodland animals. The Snow White bubble is burst with these new additions, I think, but Selia is still the fairest in the land. Poor little Jasper the Rooster has had his little head pecked on badly so that his little skull is showing, so Selia is taking him on as a new project. We feed the baby birds, put some salve on the rooster’s head, look at Selia’s new cards (she is an awesome photographer and has her own line of greeting cards) and have some coffee, chatting about this and that. Jeff goes to put a load of laundry into the dryer and load the car and, while he’s gone, the bottom falls out of the dark roiling clouds from above. Monsoon time! It’s just coming down in droves and it’s as dark as night outside! The lights go out and Sue chooses this time to clean out the goose/duck enclosure and the rooster pen so that the new inhabitants will be more comfy. Why not? She’s in her jammies and doesn’t mind the rain, so it’s all good. However, Lucy the goose is hiding from the rain and seems terrified by the storm.
The lights come back on but Jeff is stranded at the apartment while we’re at the main house. After about 15 minutes, though, the rain dies down and Jeff and I prepare to leave. Sue and Selia both tell us that they wish we lived there permanently and we agree. It’s been a TOTAL blast, a healing experience and such fun to be there. Honestly, for not being at home,we felt VERY much at home there. We agree to come back and use the apartment whenever we can and Jeff and I get on our way to my Momcat’s to pack our belongings, get the dog and make sure that Alex is packed and ready for the road. It’s too bad that my mom is at work but we’ll see her soon enough. We give Alex enough $$ for gas and off we go.
Jeff and I stop by my office so that I can pick up some files and I end up giving and getting hugs from everyone there. It’s like a receiving line at a wedding! Mom and Pop offices are wonderful in that you really do feel like family working there. These guys are lifelong friends to me, now, and I’m very glad of it. But, Jeff and the dog are waiting, so the conversation, jokes and hugs will have to wait until later….
The trip is uneventful, but we arrive home to a beautiful flower arrangement left by my little sister, Stephanie. How thoughtful is that? Unpacking and sorting through weeks of bills is never fun, but flowers make it better. =) The cats are extremely pleased to see us and haven’t done anything like poop in our shoes for our delinquent behavior, so I’m way happy that my sister took such great care of them and the plants while we were away. Now, I’m comfy and happy and grateful, oh my. It’s soooo good to be home…..
Jeff and I get up at about 8am but it seems like 6am because of the billowing dark clouds just outside the windows. Dark, dark, dark! Wow, is it going to STORM today! We get cleaned up and start up the first of two loads of laundry. Jeff ends up doing most of the tidying and cleaning of the apartment because my tummy has decided to be obstinate and I am very much distressed with nausea and cramps. My body just doesn’t seem to want to leap and bound into new health but prefers a slow army crawl, with an occasional jig-jog, instead. After a bit of rest and a few crackers w/ cheese, I feel much better and do a bit of my share to help out. We take the recyclables to Selia’s garage and then take over the refridgeritables and flower arrangement to her place cause we can’t take ‘em with us. (No room at the inn with the dog in the back of my little Maxima.)
Selia has two baby birds that she is nursing and two new additions to her menagerie, a rooster named Jasper and a hen with no name as yet. Funny, I don’t remember Snow White cohabitating with barnyard animals, just woodland animals. The Snow White bubble is burst with these new additions, I think, but Selia is still the fairest in the land. Poor little Jasper the Rooster has had his little head pecked on badly so that his little skull is showing, so Selia is taking him on as a new project. We feed the baby birds, put some salve on the rooster’s head, look at Selia’s new cards (she is an awesome photographer and has her own line of greeting cards) and have some coffee, chatting about this and that. Jeff goes to put a load of laundry into the dryer and load the car and, while he’s gone, the bottom falls out of the dark roiling clouds from above. Monsoon time! It’s just coming down in droves and it’s as dark as night outside! The lights go out and Sue chooses this time to clean out the goose/duck enclosure and the rooster pen so that the new inhabitants will be more comfy. Why not? She’s in her jammies and doesn’t mind the rain, so it’s all good. However, Lucy the goose is hiding from the rain and seems terrified by the storm.
The lights come back on but Jeff is stranded at the apartment while we’re at the main house. After about 15 minutes, though, the rain dies down and Jeff and I prepare to leave. Sue and Selia both tell us that they wish we lived there permanently and we agree. It’s been a TOTAL blast, a healing experience and such fun to be there. Honestly, for not being at home,we felt VERY much at home there. We agree to come back and use the apartment whenever we can and Jeff and I get on our way to my Momcat’s to pack our belongings, get the dog and make sure that Alex is packed and ready for the road. It’s too bad that my mom is at work but we’ll see her soon enough. We give Alex enough $$ for gas and off we go.
Jeff and I stop by my office so that I can pick up some files and I end up giving and getting hugs from everyone there. It’s like a receiving line at a wedding! Mom and Pop offices are wonderful in that you really do feel like family working there. These guys are lifelong friends to me, now, and I’m very glad of it. But, Jeff and the dog are waiting, so the conversation, jokes and hugs will have to wait until later….
The trip is uneventful, but we arrive home to a beautiful flower arrangement left by my little sister, Stephanie. How thoughtful is that? Unpacking and sorting through weeks of bills is never fun, but flowers make it better. =) The cats are extremely pleased to see us and haven’t done anything like poop in our shoes for our delinquent behavior, so I’m way happy that my sister took such great care of them and the plants while we were away. Now, I’m comfy and happy and grateful, oh my. It’s soooo good to be home…..
Tuesday, August 19
Tuesday, August 19
Jeff is up early to go with Alex to get some business taken care of before he moves with us to Austin. I bum around the apartment, talk on the phone and catch up with blogging before napping. Yawn! I know, I’m so thrilling today! I DO find out, however, that plans are in the works for my friends throwing me a benefit concert at JP Hops House in September. Oh, wow. I don’t know how to think about this but resolve to give the money to folks who need it more than Jeff and I. We are so blessed with savings and insurance where so many are not. I will find folks like single mothers who cannot afford babysitters and food because of their lack of employment due to treatment. Now, I know how to feel about my friends throwing a party/benefit for me….it feels really, really special and good. I adore my buds and feel so lucky, I really do. They say that the key to a good life is to surround yourself with positive and loving people and to ignore the negative people around you. I have a very good life, I’m thinking. =)
Jeff comes back around Noon with Alex and we take care of some other business via internet. All done and ready to go! We get Popeye’s for lunch and then Jeff takes Alex back to Grandmom’s. Once back, Jeff naps and I close the curtains for him while the rain outside patters and lulls him into a deeper sleep. Jeff had stated that he wanted to sit in on the Aikido class over in the 290/Bammel N Houston area this evening, so I make plans to hook up with my best friend for dinner. At about 5pm, I wake Jeff and we get ready to roll. We’ve made plans to hook up with Selia, Kent and Sue a bit later for a going away glass of wine and I want to give Selia and Kent their thank you gift and card, anyway, so we make plans to buy a couple of bottles of wine to bring over there.
I drop Jeff at the Dojo after an unsuccessful attempt to find good quality wine at a little liquor store in a bad part of town. Afterwards, I drive over to Costco to see what kind of reserve wines they have. I pick out a Merlot and a Cabernet Savignon that sound yummy in their descriptions and hope that they’ll be up to speed! Both sound delish but Selia and Kent are very well versed in red wines and I’m not sure what their preferences are. Dry? Sweet? Fruity? Only the shadow knows.
It feels so good to drive and shop again that I just want to linger at Costco, but I call Salle and head over to meet her for dinner. We have a lot of laughs and catch up quite a bit but I wasn’t feeling the best because I only took Ibuprofen because of the driving and future wine consumption. Crawl, Walk, Run. I SO want to run, but I’m afraid that I must resign myself to a slow shuffle for now. Ow, ow, ow. Patience, grasshopper! Still, emotionally, I had a great time ‘cause I felt nearly back to normal, if not for the pain.
Our Aikido friend, Andrew, drops Jeff off and we head on back to Spring Branch. I gobble down my pain meds ‘cause it’s just silly not to at this point, I’m in so much pain. After a bit of a lie down, I feel better and we head over to Selia’s to pop open the bottle of Napa Merlot. Yup, it’s good! I'm not drinking anything but wine because I know my body won't like carbonation. The little bit that I have tonight is just right. Selia really likes the Friendship candle that we got for them and the box that it comes in is really spectacular, opening up like a flower to reveal the actual gift. Kent loves the card. Perfect sentiment and I think it beats the Perry Steakhouse Gift Certificate that we’d originally thought of! Sue joins us in her jammies, I’m in mine and it’s a Pajama party, officially. The conversation is so fun that we end up staying until Midnight before noticing the time. Back to the ranch and to sleep, for tomorrow, we depart for home in Cedar Park!! =) Yay, but I’ll miss this place and these folks, absolutely and for sure….
Jeff is up early to go with Alex to get some business taken care of before he moves with us to Austin. I bum around the apartment, talk on the phone and catch up with blogging before napping. Yawn! I know, I’m so thrilling today! I DO find out, however, that plans are in the works for my friends throwing me a benefit concert at JP Hops House in September. Oh, wow. I don’t know how to think about this but resolve to give the money to folks who need it more than Jeff and I. We are so blessed with savings and insurance where so many are not. I will find folks like single mothers who cannot afford babysitters and food because of their lack of employment due to treatment. Now, I know how to feel about my friends throwing a party/benefit for me….it feels really, really special and good. I adore my buds and feel so lucky, I really do. They say that the key to a good life is to surround yourself with positive and loving people and to ignore the negative people around you. I have a very good life, I’m thinking. =)
Jeff comes back around Noon with Alex and we take care of some other business via internet. All done and ready to go! We get Popeye’s for lunch and then Jeff takes Alex back to Grandmom’s. Once back, Jeff naps and I close the curtains for him while the rain outside patters and lulls him into a deeper sleep. Jeff had stated that he wanted to sit in on the Aikido class over in the 290/Bammel N Houston area this evening, so I make plans to hook up with my best friend for dinner. At about 5pm, I wake Jeff and we get ready to roll. We’ve made plans to hook up with Selia, Kent and Sue a bit later for a going away glass of wine and I want to give Selia and Kent their thank you gift and card, anyway, so we make plans to buy a couple of bottles of wine to bring over there.
I drop Jeff at the Dojo after an unsuccessful attempt to find good quality wine at a little liquor store in a bad part of town. Afterwards, I drive over to Costco to see what kind of reserve wines they have. I pick out a Merlot and a Cabernet Savignon that sound yummy in their descriptions and hope that they’ll be up to speed! Both sound delish but Selia and Kent are very well versed in red wines and I’m not sure what their preferences are. Dry? Sweet? Fruity? Only the shadow knows.
It feels so good to drive and shop again that I just want to linger at Costco, but I call Salle and head over to meet her for dinner. We have a lot of laughs and catch up quite a bit but I wasn’t feeling the best because I only took Ibuprofen because of the driving and future wine consumption. Crawl, Walk, Run. I SO want to run, but I’m afraid that I must resign myself to a slow shuffle for now. Ow, ow, ow. Patience, grasshopper! Still, emotionally, I had a great time ‘cause I felt nearly back to normal, if not for the pain.
Our Aikido friend, Andrew, drops Jeff off and we head on back to Spring Branch. I gobble down my pain meds ‘cause it’s just silly not to at this point, I’m in so much pain. After a bit of a lie down, I feel better and we head over to Selia’s to pop open the bottle of Napa Merlot. Yup, it’s good! I'm not drinking anything but wine because I know my body won't like carbonation. The little bit that I have tonight is just right. Selia really likes the Friendship candle that we got for them and the box that it comes in is really spectacular, opening up like a flower to reveal the actual gift. Kent loves the card. Perfect sentiment and I think it beats the Perry Steakhouse Gift Certificate that we’d originally thought of! Sue joins us in her jammies, I’m in mine and it’s a Pajama party, officially. The conversation is so fun that we end up staying until Midnight before noticing the time. Back to the ranch and to sleep, for tomorrow, we depart for home in Cedar Park!! =) Yay, but I’ll miss this place and these folks, absolutely and for sure….
Monday, August 18, 2008
Monday, August 18
Up and at 'em at 9am after having a weird night's sleep for both of us. Must be something in the air. My blood work at MD Anderson is set for 11:15, so we get cleaned up, have breakfast and hit the road. $10 for parking gets us into the machine that is MD A and I go in to wait for an hour for the vampires to take my blood. It's cold as the arctic in their waiting rooms almost every time, so it pays to bring a sweater. I, of course, forgot this tidbit of previous information so I hunker down to Jeff like a second skin to share his warmth. Afterward, it's off to the cafeteria to wolf down Chick-Fil-A nuggets and waffle fries. Nutrition is key when you're in the hospital, right? We head back over to G5 ward, where I was installed as a patient, so that I can fill out a "SuperStar!" form for Jeffrey, a nurse's aide who wasn't even assigned to me but stepped in when I was sick as a dog and ralphing in my room. MY Jeff would not have been able to hold me up because of his arm so it was amazing that this guy was just walking by when I got woozy and ill. He kept checking on me after that and we'd always wave in the halls as I'd go for my exercise figure eights. Great guy, and here I forgot to write him up! Jeffrey is there and so are two of the nurses who cared for me while I was in the clinker. They ooooh and ahhh over how good both Jeff and I are doing and it's like a little reunion. Very cute and so sweet that they remembered me. I was a total makeupless mess with my hair pulled back and bone white while I was under their care, so I'm surprised that they recognized me!
We check all of the book nooks on different floors for the third novel in a series that Jeff has gotten into and then it's off to see Dr. Lambert at A Elevator, Level 7, Azalea waiting room. FYI, MD Anderson has a cool book borrowing system whereby you can borrow a book on the honor system and then bring it back in. It works really well there because folks are very frequently coming back for follow-ups and chemo. Jeff and I are going to start up a mini-library in the Round Rock cancer center, if they don't have one already. It's just SUCH a great idea, I think.
On the 7th floor, Elevator A GI ward check-in area, I pay for the co-pay, get my vitals taken and then wait to be called in the azalea room. I am THRILLED 'caues I've lost 14 pounds since surgery! Oh, man, I have GOT to keep my tummy tiny so that I can go for another 20 more. We go in and who should come bobbing into the room but Dr. Mammon and his sidekick 3rd year med student, William Mitchell!! What's really weird is that I'm so happy to see them both, like they're old friends, and they're grinning from ear to ear, as well! Lol. Doc. Lambert comes in beaming and we all congratulate each other on a job well done, me and my belly. I should expect to have a bit of a rumply scar for at least a year, but that's small potatoes in the grand scheme of things. Doc. L. asks what else she can do for me and I tell her that she's done enough, thank you very much. She's an amazing lady and I'm extremely fortunate and I tell her so. She ignores the praise and smilingly tells me to call her if I need anything.
Jeff and I are freed from the med center and go by Perry's Steakhouse to pick up a thank you gift certificate for my bud, Bryan, who helped me finish out the transaction on a lot that I was almost complete on. We shop a little for Selia, too, and then it's back home to catch up on blogging, walk to the park and just plain jell for awhile. Tonight, we're getting together with Selia, Kent, Chris Collins and his wifey, Leah. Maybe we can get Ken and Sue to join us, who knows? Jeff is hungry and staring at me to try to get me to check on what's for dinner instead of blogging, so I must sign off for now and will come back later.....bon appetit!~
Jeff and I end up having Chili's for dinner, after checking with Selia & Chris to see what they've got planned for dinner. Chris and Leah have eaten so Jeff and I snark on Chicken Enchilada Soup for me and ribs, salmon, veggies and taters for him. All I need is a rib or two, a small portion of the fish and a couple of veggies to fill out my tummy. Half the soup and I'm full o' vitamins in the right proportions. =) Over the cobbles and through the backyard, to Selia's house we go....
Chris and Leah show up at about 7:30 to see the guest house and then we traipse across the back yard to Selia's for some comraderie in the kitchen. Selia left a message for Saylor and Sheryl, but they're apparently busy for the evening, so it's Selia and Kent, Ken and Sue, Jeff and I and Chris and Leah sittin' round the table this time. Chris Collins is another fantastic musician who does, among his other projects, John Denver tribute concerts, etc. He is also quite the raconteur and tells some great stories, like this one, the tale of the high maintenance panhandler:
Chris was in Lake Tahoe a few days ago to do a concert and was at a Subway sandwich shop with a friend. An obviously mentally disabled man came up to Chris and asked him if Chris would buy him a sandwich. Chris is so generous and said, "Sure thing, hop in line with us." The guy waited a few minutes and then asked, "Can I have a foot long?" Chris says, "Okay." A few minutes later, "Can I have extra turkey on it?" Chris again says, "Um, sure." A few minutes later...."Can I get a large drink?" Too funny! Of course, Chris ends up buying him the large drink, chips and the foot long extra turkey sandwich. After they finish up, the fellow comes over to Chris' table and asks, "Can I have a couple of bucks?" Chris complied and went away feeling good and had a great story to tell, as well. Might be a song in it, who knows?
He says that he got his Karmic repayment on the airplane ride home. A good looking brunette had the window seat, with him in the middle seat and Chris awoke mid-flight to a pair of boobs in the face. The woman was trying not to wake him and did the crab crawl over him, only to fall onto his body face first when the plane lurched! Lol.....good gosh, what a way to wake up! Like I said, Chris is a natural storyteller and all around nice guy. Everyone Loves the man. He is also the co-founder, along with me, of HAAM, The Houston Association of Acoustic Musicians, which is how we became great buds. He's like my brother, seriously, and is one of my best friends.
Anyway, we have a great evening again with this group, talking about dog stories and early childhood/teenaged years and Selia makes strange looking, yet delicious, canapes. We head home again feeling fine about our buddies and hit the sack early. Jeff has a mission of mercy tomorrow morning and needs to catch up from our weird night's sleep last night. Sweet dreams!
We check all of the book nooks on different floors for the third novel in a series that Jeff has gotten into and then it's off to see Dr. Lambert at A Elevator, Level 7, Azalea waiting room. FYI, MD Anderson has a cool book borrowing system whereby you can borrow a book on the honor system and then bring it back in. It works really well there because folks are very frequently coming back for follow-ups and chemo. Jeff and I are going to start up a mini-library in the Round Rock cancer center, if they don't have one already. It's just SUCH a great idea, I think.
On the 7th floor, Elevator A GI ward check-in area, I pay for the co-pay, get my vitals taken and then wait to be called in the azalea room. I am THRILLED 'caues I've lost 14 pounds since surgery! Oh, man, I have GOT to keep my tummy tiny so that I can go for another 20 more. We go in and who should come bobbing into the room but Dr. Mammon and his sidekick 3rd year med student, William Mitchell!! What's really weird is that I'm so happy to see them both, like they're old friends, and they're grinning from ear to ear, as well! Lol. Doc. Lambert comes in beaming and we all congratulate each other on a job well done, me and my belly. I should expect to have a bit of a rumply scar for at least a year, but that's small potatoes in the grand scheme of things. Doc. L. asks what else she can do for me and I tell her that she's done enough, thank you very much. She's an amazing lady and I'm extremely fortunate and I tell her so. She ignores the praise and smilingly tells me to call her if I need anything.
Jeff and I are freed from the med center and go by Perry's Steakhouse to pick up a thank you gift certificate for my bud, Bryan, who helped me finish out the transaction on a lot that I was almost complete on. We shop a little for Selia, too, and then it's back home to catch up on blogging, walk to the park and just plain jell for awhile. Tonight, we're getting together with Selia, Kent, Chris Collins and his wifey, Leah. Maybe we can get Ken and Sue to join us, who knows? Jeff is hungry and staring at me to try to get me to check on what's for dinner instead of blogging, so I must sign off for now and will come back later.....bon appetit!~
Jeff and I end up having Chili's for dinner, after checking with Selia & Chris to see what they've got planned for dinner. Chris and Leah have eaten so Jeff and I snark on Chicken Enchilada Soup for me and ribs, salmon, veggies and taters for him. All I need is a rib or two, a small portion of the fish and a couple of veggies to fill out my tummy. Half the soup and I'm full o' vitamins in the right proportions. =) Over the cobbles and through the backyard, to Selia's house we go....
Chris and Leah show up at about 7:30 to see the guest house and then we traipse across the back yard to Selia's for some comraderie in the kitchen. Selia left a message for Saylor and Sheryl, but they're apparently busy for the evening, so it's Selia and Kent, Ken and Sue, Jeff and I and Chris and Leah sittin' round the table this time. Chris Collins is another fantastic musician who does, among his other projects, John Denver tribute concerts, etc. He is also quite the raconteur and tells some great stories, like this one, the tale of the high maintenance panhandler:
Chris was in Lake Tahoe a few days ago to do a concert and was at a Subway sandwich shop with a friend. An obviously mentally disabled man came up to Chris and asked him if Chris would buy him a sandwich. Chris is so generous and said, "Sure thing, hop in line with us." The guy waited a few minutes and then asked, "Can I have a foot long?" Chris says, "Okay." A few minutes later, "Can I have extra turkey on it?" Chris again says, "Um, sure." A few minutes later...."Can I get a large drink?" Too funny! Of course, Chris ends up buying him the large drink, chips and the foot long extra turkey sandwich. After they finish up, the fellow comes over to Chris' table and asks, "Can I have a couple of bucks?" Chris complied and went away feeling good and had a great story to tell, as well. Might be a song in it, who knows?
He says that he got his Karmic repayment on the airplane ride home. A good looking brunette had the window seat, with him in the middle seat and Chris awoke mid-flight to a pair of boobs in the face. The woman was trying not to wake him and did the crab crawl over him, only to fall onto his body face first when the plane lurched! Lol.....good gosh, what a way to wake up! Like I said, Chris is a natural storyteller and all around nice guy. Everyone Loves the man. He is also the co-founder, along with me, of HAAM, The Houston Association of Acoustic Musicians, which is how we became great buds. He's like my brother, seriously, and is one of my best friends.
Anyway, we have a great evening again with this group, talking about dog stories and early childhood/teenaged years and Selia makes strange looking, yet delicious, canapes. We head home again feeling fine about our buddies and hit the sack early. Jeff has a mission of mercy tomorrow morning and needs to catch up from our weird night's sleep last night. Sweet dreams!
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Sunday, August 17
Sunday, August 17
Jeff and I decide that today is going to be a ‘spud day,’ nothing on the agenda and nowhere to go, a day to lounge like lizards and do nada, nix and nothing. Sounds great. However, Jeff’s dad calls and asks if they can come visit, which sounds nice, so we get ready for their visit and then go back to spudding out. We head over to La Madeline for lunch and I totally get into their Tomato Basil soup and turkey sandwich. Oh, yum, I adore their tomato soup though it is the most fattening thing on the planet! Can’t eat much and I end up giving about half of my meal to Jeff, again. Chow, chow, chow, my sweet Jeffrey! He is my disposal and is happy of it. Back at the apartment, we show my Dad in law and his lovely wife, Sandy, around the back yard and a little bit of Selia’s Wildlife Habitat next door. Yep, they’re blown away by the beautiful surroundings. Hard not to be. Her backyard is good for ANYONE’s soul, ill or not. They take off for their home in Lake Livingston and Jeff and I go back to spudsville, with him on the computer being Project Jeff and me napping on the sofa, semi watching Antiques Roadshow. Now, after taking more pain meds, I’m catching up on blogging, listening to the rain and dreading the time that I have to go back and re-trace the hospital adventures. The hospital day blogs are very important, though, because I can share so many great things with you….I’ll get ‘em done but it may take a few more days. Today, I am a spud and no one can take that away from me! =) I will be downright useful again soon, medically speaking, but for now, you get to just read my mundane little diary, lucky you.
I wonder if anyone who needs it can even FIND my blog, though, 'cause I can't seem to successfully locate it on Google with the verbiage that I think folks will use to locate help. So, how helpful to others am I, really, with this blog? I'm thinking not much at this point, but I intend to publish my experiences and make the blog more noteworthy soon, so I hope that it will, indeed, be as helpful as I originally intended it to be. It's becoming more of a diary, with some helpful hints thrown in, these days. However, I will put in more pertinent information when I can get the time. If you have been reading these posts and have cancer, please let me know, k? I'll do whatever I can to help out and/or become a pen pal support person for you. I can and will let you know what to expect out of MD Anderson and/or about your surgery, so let me know. I'll redouble my efforts to get the blog up to date and clinically helpful, if I know someone is actually benefitting from my rambling.... =)
Jeff and I decide that today is going to be a ‘spud day,’ nothing on the agenda and nowhere to go, a day to lounge like lizards and do nada, nix and nothing. Sounds great. However, Jeff’s dad calls and asks if they can come visit, which sounds nice, so we get ready for their visit and then go back to spudding out. We head over to La Madeline for lunch and I totally get into their Tomato Basil soup and turkey sandwich. Oh, yum, I adore their tomato soup though it is the most fattening thing on the planet! Can’t eat much and I end up giving about half of my meal to Jeff, again. Chow, chow, chow, my sweet Jeffrey! He is my disposal and is happy of it. Back at the apartment, we show my Dad in law and his lovely wife, Sandy, around the back yard and a little bit of Selia’s Wildlife Habitat next door. Yep, they’re blown away by the beautiful surroundings. Hard not to be. Her backyard is good for ANYONE’s soul, ill or not. They take off for their home in Lake Livingston and Jeff and I go back to spudsville, with him on the computer being Project Jeff and me napping on the sofa, semi watching Antiques Roadshow. Now, after taking more pain meds, I’m catching up on blogging, listening to the rain and dreading the time that I have to go back and re-trace the hospital adventures. The hospital day blogs are very important, though, because I can share so many great things with you….I’ll get ‘em done but it may take a few more days. Today, I am a spud and no one can take that away from me! =) I will be downright useful again soon, medically speaking, but for now, you get to just read my mundane little diary, lucky you.
I wonder if anyone who needs it can even FIND my blog, though, 'cause I can't seem to successfully locate it on Google with the verbiage that I think folks will use to locate help. So, how helpful to others am I, really, with this blog? I'm thinking not much at this point, but I intend to publish my experiences and make the blog more noteworthy soon, so I hope that it will, indeed, be as helpful as I originally intended it to be. It's becoming more of a diary, with some helpful hints thrown in, these days. However, I will put in more pertinent information when I can get the time. If you have been reading these posts and have cancer, please let me know, k? I'll do whatever I can to help out and/or become a pen pal support person for you. I can and will let you know what to expect out of MD Anderson and/or about your surgery, so let me know. I'll redouble my efforts to get the blog up to date and clinically helpful, if I know someone is actually benefitting from my rambling.... =)
Friday, Saturday, August 15 & 16
Saturday, August 16
Not much occurred yesterday, Friday, except for Joanne Sprott coming over to visit for a bit. Also, we took a walk in the rain. Oh, yeah, then we went to HFCU to transfer some money to different accounts and then had sushi at RedFish. Jeff gets the lion’s share of the rolls ‘cause I get filled up on miso soup….tiny tummy April is in da house! Jeff is going to gain SO much weight at this rate, cleaning up after I’m full. I’m liking the fact that it doesn’t take much to fill me up these days. I wonder how much weight I’ve lost. I can see that it’s quite a bit by looking at my face in the mirror. I have cheekbones! ! I get sweats and chills pretty quickly and we, thankfully, get back in the car where I can adjust the seating and temperature to suit my needs. MUCH better….
Jeff takes me on a quick trip by Kohl’s to search for more yoga pants (no luck there) and then by mom’s to pick up some of my shoes. A blown kiss to the formerly ill girlie, Andi, and a hug to the Alex boyo, then back to the apartment. Later this evening, we watch a little bit of a movie loaned to us by Ken and Sue, “Off the Map,” but I get to feeling poorly, maybe from the Schlotzsky’s, and fall asleep early Friday night. We are SUCH party people these days!
Saturday morning, we get cleaned up so that we can go to collect my staging supplies from my very last listing here in Houston. It’s sold, hurray!!! My bud, Bryan Causey, has taken over the transaction for me and I cannot thank him enough for that. Nice not to have to worry about business while I’m worried about my gastrointestinal health and ability to process food properly, you know? He’s a doll and will forever be on my Christmas list. Around Noon, we head on over to the house, which is in our old neighborhood in Cypress, TX, and pack up 3 boxes of decorations/silk plants. Jeff has to hoist them himself, with his left arm in the sling. This sucks and hurts him quite a bit, but we don’t see an alternative. We drop by my office, where my thoughtful broker has volunteered space for us, and Dan Hodgson carries the boxes into the back room for Jeff. He and his wife, Theresa, are great folks, cream of the crop and salt of the earth kind of people. We’re so grateful for Dan’s help and are gladdened to hear that Theresa has had some great luck with business recently. Good things happen to good people, it's true.
Afterwards, we head by my mom’s to give her, Alex and our dog, KC, a hug before heading back to the apartment. I take a whirl on her scales to see what my weight is and find that I’ve lost at LEAST 10 lbs. already! Yay!!! A stop by CVS, a stop by Subway, and we’re back at the ranch. Jeff is, as of last night, HIGHLY obsessed with a new program that will take your floor plans and make them so that you can ‘go inside’ your home to view how it’ll look, once built. Pretty cool, but he is totally driven by this program instead of the other way around. “Project Jeff” has entered the building! My husband will take on a project and hyperfocus so much that nothing else enters his attention bubble for the duration of the obsession. At this point, I call him the project man, or Project Jeff. When housed with Project Jeff, I am left to my own devices, largely, for much of the afternoon. I read a little, nap a little. I go to take a walk down Hazelhurst, though, and Jeff puts aside the project and joins me, miracle of miracles. We get back and he's back on the computer again. That's fine because he's making incredible progress and is able, in so short a time, to give us a peek at what our house may end up looking like when we build it. Jeff is so multi-talented and, when he takes on a project, he does it RIGHT! I love that.
Later, we head to Kroger to pick up fresh supplies, including some cute bowls that we’ll leave here at Selia’s. Picked up Wendy’s food on the way home and I THOUGHT that I’d be safe eating ½ bowl of chili and ½ baked potato. I was wrong, wrong, so, so wrong. I won’t be eating anything like that again anytime soon, that’s for sure! My beloved enchiladas y tacos will have to wait a very, very long time until we meet again, more’s the pity.
We get home and I crash for a bit. I’m getting a lot of exercise for being such a feeb right now and it wears me out pretty quickly. We finish out “Off the Map” and are totally charmed by this off the wall, off the map movie. What acting! Little Valentina De Angelis is an amazing little actress and the story line is non-standard and full of interesting little points, which is refreshing. If you like slice of life movies that hit on some unusual subjects and pique one’s intellectual interest, you might like this one.
Jim and Cynthia Kam come over for a couple of hours during the evening and we have a great time catching up and joking about illnesses and teenaged boys. (They have 2 of ‘em and our one is keeping us hopping. Alex will be moving to Austin with us next week, I think.) They take off around 10:30 after we watch Michael Phelps win his 8th freakin’ medal in the Olympics. What an athelete! I will forever remember this Olympics as it has been somewhat the background music for my life after surgery at this point. I don’t usually get into sports that much but this year is phenomenal, isn’t it? Worth the watch each time.
We hit the sack almost immediately after they take off for a bit of snuggling and cuddling in the queen sized bed. With Jeff’s shoulder problem and my incision, we haven’t been able to do this in far too long a time and it’s just so nice to renew our cuddles. After about 20 minutes of snoozing together, we set up the “rushing river” sounds on the computer (a sleep aid for me and an inspiration to sing for the frogs outside the bathroom window) and hit our respective beds. Ah, sleep is so good but chili is SO bad. I don’t get a lot of sleep, unfortunately, but well, every experiment can’t come out positive. I'll live but life sucks when you're crampy, sleepy, grumpy and several other of the less positive dwarves....
Not much occurred yesterday, Friday, except for Joanne Sprott coming over to visit for a bit. Also, we took a walk in the rain. Oh, yeah, then we went to HFCU to transfer some money to different accounts and then had sushi at RedFish. Jeff gets the lion’s share of the rolls ‘cause I get filled up on miso soup….tiny tummy April is in da house! Jeff is going to gain SO much weight at this rate, cleaning up after I’m full. I’m liking the fact that it doesn’t take much to fill me up these days. I wonder how much weight I’ve lost. I can see that it’s quite a bit by looking at my face in the mirror. I have cheekbones! ! I get sweats and chills pretty quickly and we, thankfully, get back in the car where I can adjust the seating and temperature to suit my needs. MUCH better….
Jeff takes me on a quick trip by Kohl’s to search for more yoga pants (no luck there) and then by mom’s to pick up some of my shoes. A blown kiss to the formerly ill girlie, Andi, and a hug to the Alex boyo, then back to the apartment. Later this evening, we watch a little bit of a movie loaned to us by Ken and Sue, “Off the Map,” but I get to feeling poorly, maybe from the Schlotzsky’s, and fall asleep early Friday night. We are SUCH party people these days!
Saturday morning, we get cleaned up so that we can go to collect my staging supplies from my very last listing here in Houston. It’s sold, hurray!!! My bud, Bryan Causey, has taken over the transaction for me and I cannot thank him enough for that. Nice not to have to worry about business while I’m worried about my gastrointestinal health and ability to process food properly, you know? He’s a doll and will forever be on my Christmas list. Around Noon, we head on over to the house, which is in our old neighborhood in Cypress, TX, and pack up 3 boxes of decorations/silk plants. Jeff has to hoist them himself, with his left arm in the sling. This sucks and hurts him quite a bit, but we don’t see an alternative. We drop by my office, where my thoughtful broker has volunteered space for us, and Dan Hodgson carries the boxes into the back room for Jeff. He and his wife, Theresa, are great folks, cream of the crop and salt of the earth kind of people. We’re so grateful for Dan’s help and are gladdened to hear that Theresa has had some great luck with business recently. Good things happen to good people, it's true.
Afterwards, we head by my mom’s to give her, Alex and our dog, KC, a hug before heading back to the apartment. I take a whirl on her scales to see what my weight is and find that I’ve lost at LEAST 10 lbs. already! Yay!!! A stop by CVS, a stop by Subway, and we’re back at the ranch. Jeff is, as of last night, HIGHLY obsessed with a new program that will take your floor plans and make them so that you can ‘go inside’ your home to view how it’ll look, once built. Pretty cool, but he is totally driven by this program instead of the other way around. “Project Jeff” has entered the building! My husband will take on a project and hyperfocus so much that nothing else enters his attention bubble for the duration of the obsession. At this point, I call him the project man, or Project Jeff. When housed with Project Jeff, I am left to my own devices, largely, for much of the afternoon. I read a little, nap a little. I go to take a walk down Hazelhurst, though, and Jeff puts aside the project and joins me, miracle of miracles. We get back and he's back on the computer again. That's fine because he's making incredible progress and is able, in so short a time, to give us a peek at what our house may end up looking like when we build it. Jeff is so multi-talented and, when he takes on a project, he does it RIGHT! I love that.
Later, we head to Kroger to pick up fresh supplies, including some cute bowls that we’ll leave here at Selia’s. Picked up Wendy’s food on the way home and I THOUGHT that I’d be safe eating ½ bowl of chili and ½ baked potato. I was wrong, wrong, so, so wrong. I won’t be eating anything like that again anytime soon, that’s for sure! My beloved enchiladas y tacos will have to wait a very, very long time until we meet again, more’s the pity.
We get home and I crash for a bit. I’m getting a lot of exercise for being such a feeb right now and it wears me out pretty quickly. We finish out “Off the Map” and are totally charmed by this off the wall, off the map movie. What acting! Little Valentina De Angelis is an amazing little actress and the story line is non-standard and full of interesting little points, which is refreshing. If you like slice of life movies that hit on some unusual subjects and pique one’s intellectual interest, you might like this one.
Jim and Cynthia Kam come over for a couple of hours during the evening and we have a great time catching up and joking about illnesses and teenaged boys. (They have 2 of ‘em and our one is keeping us hopping. Alex will be moving to Austin with us next week, I think.) They take off around 10:30 after we watch Michael Phelps win his 8th freakin’ medal in the Olympics. What an athelete! I will forever remember this Olympics as it has been somewhat the background music for my life after surgery at this point. I don’t usually get into sports that much but this year is phenomenal, isn’t it? Worth the watch each time.
We hit the sack almost immediately after they take off for a bit of snuggling and cuddling in the queen sized bed. With Jeff’s shoulder problem and my incision, we haven’t been able to do this in far too long a time and it’s just so nice to renew our cuddles. After about 20 minutes of snoozing together, we set up the “rushing river” sounds on the computer (a sleep aid for me and an inspiration to sing for the frogs outside the bathroom window) and hit our respective beds. Ah, sleep is so good but chili is SO bad. I don’t get a lot of sleep, unfortunately, but well, every experiment can’t come out positive. I'll live but life sucks when you're crampy, sleepy, grumpy and several other of the less positive dwarves....
Friday, August 15, 2008
Thursday, August 14
Thursday, August 14
Not much to talk about, this day. Jeff and Alex went to run an errand during the afternoon and I was again left to my own devices. I caught up on my blogging to a small degree and read a little, doing a bit o’ research into chemo and diet related concerns. Low key day, but we went next door to Ken and Sue’s this evening, met their darling doggie and watched a pretty cool little movie, “Everything is Illuminated.” Pretty funny, touching and quirky, just like we like ‘em. So tired of McMovies these days. We finished the movie by 9:30, said our goodnights and walked the 10 feet or so to our front door. Exhausting commute. A little TV and then to bed.
I awoke at 5am to severe abdominal pain and nausea, don’t know why. Took my pain meds and then rolled around a bit to try to find a comfy position. Nope, ain’t gonna happen. I was up for about an hour and then fell asleep to dream disturbing dreams about Jeff. Dang, I can’t wait to get healthy again.
On this day, I’m pondering the wisdom of becoming a “Juicer,” my slang for those kinds of folks who go ‘raw’ with their diets and avoid beef and processed foodage. My cousin is one of them and she sends me all kinds of scary links about how to do your own food processing/become a juicer. Is there a midway point, I wonder? Can I occasionally have my burger with fries or is this thing an all or nothing proposition? If it’s all or nothing, I’m not sure I’m up for it, but if there’s a bit of leeway, I could limit myself. Something to think about, though eating right is cost prohibitive these days. We shall see if I do, indeed, turn to the ‘green’ side..stay tuned, bat fans....
Not much to talk about, this day. Jeff and Alex went to run an errand during the afternoon and I was again left to my own devices. I caught up on my blogging to a small degree and read a little, doing a bit o’ research into chemo and diet related concerns. Low key day, but we went next door to Ken and Sue’s this evening, met their darling doggie and watched a pretty cool little movie, “Everything is Illuminated.” Pretty funny, touching and quirky, just like we like ‘em. So tired of McMovies these days. We finished the movie by 9:30, said our goodnights and walked the 10 feet or so to our front door. Exhausting commute. A little TV and then to bed.
I awoke at 5am to severe abdominal pain and nausea, don’t know why. Took my pain meds and then rolled around a bit to try to find a comfy position. Nope, ain’t gonna happen. I was up for about an hour and then fell asleep to dream disturbing dreams about Jeff. Dang, I can’t wait to get healthy again.
On this day, I’m pondering the wisdom of becoming a “Juicer,” my slang for those kinds of folks who go ‘raw’ with their diets and avoid beef and processed foodage. My cousin is one of them and she sends me all kinds of scary links about how to do your own food processing/become a juicer. Is there a midway point, I wonder? Can I occasionally have my burger with fries or is this thing an all or nothing proposition? If it’s all or nothing, I’m not sure I’m up for it, but if there’s a bit of leeway, I could limit myself. Something to think about, though eating right is cost prohibitive these days. We shall see if I do, indeed, turn to the ‘green’ side..stay tuned, bat fans....
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Wednesday, August 13
Wednesday, 08-13-08
I awoke a couple of times with back/neck/belly pain and took my meds but by morning, I was able to work out the kinks and get comfortable. Jeff showers and gets ready for his fun day of doctor and dental appointments, his first starting at 11am with his orthopedic shoulder doc and the other being a teeth cleaning at 2pm. The 11am appointment wasn’t over until after 12:30, so he just stayed over on that side of town instead of wasting gas by driving back over here, so I was on my own for most of the day. I checked my email and wrote an update, but the email wouldn’t send out, so I settled in to read and watch TV for a few hours. Lazy day, but I made myself busy getting everything organized for the week in this lovely place. I’m just amazed at how quickly one can get pooped out but take breaks whenever I break out in a sweat and feel weak. I made a grocery list, started a load of laundry and waited for Jeff to get back.
When Jeff got back, we headed to Kroger to do the real shopping. Don’t do this if you’re just out of the hospital. I was so stir crazy that I went with him, though, and ended up feeling that I’d run a marathon by the time we were done. Just exhausting. We got home, put the groceries away and ate what was left over of the bean dip from CVS. Well, I did. (It wasn’t much, I swear.) We watched TV and read for a bit and then head over to Selia’s next door to order up din-din with the group.
What an awesome gathering. It was only dinner, but it felt like so much more. Even though I’ve been around these guys on many occasions, this time felt really special, for some reason. I felt a great connection with everyone there and then, the strange coincidences began. Here were the folks in attendance:
Selia Qynn (musician) and her hubby, Kent.
Ken Gaines (musician) and his wifey, Sue.
April Kelly (musician) and my hubby, Jeff.
Saylor White (musician) and his sig. other, Sheryl Hutchins.
(You MUST Google each of these musicians – They are some of the best in Houston and are remarkable peeps…Give ‘em a listen.)
Ken told a story about surprising Saylor for his birthday last week and I wondered which day, but didn’t ask just yet. When Saylor arrived, we found out, over Chinese dumplings & spring rolls, that Saylor and Jeff share the same birthday, August 6th. Both guys were blown away ‘cause neither has ever known another Leo with the same birthdate and they’ve known one another for so long without knowing about the birthday link. Then, lo and behold, we found out, over the main course, that Kent and Sheryl share the same birthdate, too, August 31st. Nuh-UH…What are the freakin’ odds, right? Sue’s birthday is the same as my little sister’s. I now know everyone’s birthdays and won’t be forgetting that anytime soon!
After some great conversation, we had the fruit torte that Selia had left for Jeff for dessert and everyone sang “Happy Birthday” to him, finally! A great night, but I got pooped early and so began the sweats and chills….time to go. It’s just as well ‘cause Selia has a mission of mercy in the morning and needs her sleep. We bid them adieu and go back next door, feeling fine about our remarkable friends. A little TV, a little reading, a little pain medication, bedtime it is. G’night.
I awoke a couple of times with back/neck/belly pain and took my meds but by morning, I was able to work out the kinks and get comfortable. Jeff showers and gets ready for his fun day of doctor and dental appointments, his first starting at 11am with his orthopedic shoulder doc and the other being a teeth cleaning at 2pm. The 11am appointment wasn’t over until after 12:30, so he just stayed over on that side of town instead of wasting gas by driving back over here, so I was on my own for most of the day. I checked my email and wrote an update, but the email wouldn’t send out, so I settled in to read and watch TV for a few hours. Lazy day, but I made myself busy getting everything organized for the week in this lovely place. I’m just amazed at how quickly one can get pooped out but take breaks whenever I break out in a sweat and feel weak. I made a grocery list, started a load of laundry and waited for Jeff to get back.
When Jeff got back, we headed to Kroger to do the real shopping. Don’t do this if you’re just out of the hospital. I was so stir crazy that I went with him, though, and ended up feeling that I’d run a marathon by the time we were done. Just exhausting. We got home, put the groceries away and ate what was left over of the bean dip from CVS. Well, I did. (It wasn’t much, I swear.) We watched TV and read for a bit and then head over to Selia’s next door to order up din-din with the group.
What an awesome gathering. It was only dinner, but it felt like so much more. Even though I’ve been around these guys on many occasions, this time felt really special, for some reason. I felt a great connection with everyone there and then, the strange coincidences began. Here were the folks in attendance:
Selia Qynn (musician) and her hubby, Kent.
Ken Gaines (musician) and his wifey, Sue.
April Kelly (musician) and my hubby, Jeff.
Saylor White (musician) and his sig. other, Sheryl Hutchins.
(You MUST Google each of these musicians – They are some of the best in Houston and are remarkable peeps…Give ‘em a listen.)
Ken told a story about surprising Saylor for his birthday last week and I wondered which day, but didn’t ask just yet. When Saylor arrived, we found out, over Chinese dumplings & spring rolls, that Saylor and Jeff share the same birthday, August 6th. Both guys were blown away ‘cause neither has ever known another Leo with the same birthdate and they’ve known one another for so long without knowing about the birthday link. Then, lo and behold, we found out, over the main course, that Kent and Sheryl share the same birthdate, too, August 31st. Nuh-UH…What are the freakin’ odds, right? Sue’s birthday is the same as my little sister’s. I now know everyone’s birthdays and won’t be forgetting that anytime soon!
After some great conversation, we had the fruit torte that Selia had left for Jeff for dessert and everyone sang “Happy Birthday” to him, finally! A great night, but I got pooped early and so began the sweats and chills….time to go. It’s just as well ‘cause Selia has a mission of mercy in the morning and needs her sleep. We bid them adieu and go back next door, feeling fine about our remarkable friends. A little TV, a little reading, a little pain medication, bedtime it is. G’night.
Tuesday, August 12
Tuesday, 8-12-08
We get stuff packed up and wait around for the Doc to come in to give the final Okay to leave. I’d thought that we’d need to be out of the room by 11am but the nurses say not to worry, that we can stay as long as we need to. Okay, good ‘nuf, I’ll order breakfast. I order, eat several bites and hand the rest over to Jeff. Lunch rolls ‘round with no sign of the Doc so Jeff goes to run an errand and returns by 2pm, when the doc arrives. She tells me that I can stay in the hospital if I want overnight if I have any concerns, but I’m ready to go, chills and all. She also tells me that she’d like for me to go see an oncologist at MD Anderson, Dr. Yao, and sets it up for them to call me to set up an appointment. I still have my oncologist in Cedar Park but want that second opinion from the experts at MD A. I fill out 5 “Stars of G5!” forms, which gives accolades and thanks to those nurses, aides, etc., who’ve been exceptional in my ward, we pack up and send for the big old wheelchair limo, which will hold everything that we have and then some. My chauffer is the sparking Shirley again! Great, grand and we’re on our way to Selia’s, finally!!!! =)
Selia’s Habitat Guest House is like a very nice B&B setup, with complete kitchen, 1 bed, 1 bath, little dinette area and living room. Warm and inviting, it just screams of it’s host, Ms. Selia Qynn. I get tears in my eyes when I spot what she’s left on the table in the dinette area. There is a gorgeous, cheerful bouquet of flowers with a giant butterfly balloon attached to it sitting there, right next to a Happy Birthday fruit torte for Jeff that has candles on it that state, “25?” Two cards await us each and I’m just blown away. Wow, what a welcome. Selia is Snow White, I swear. More on this later….gotta see her website. Amazing lady, amazing place. www.selia.com
We drop our stuff off and go to CVS to get prescriptions filled and pick up a few grocery provisions while we’re there. We’re both pooped out and cranky, but grateful to get to a bit of normality for once. We were going to get together with some friends this evening, but thankfully, they cancel and we make plans to order up some Chinese and have dinner together on Wednesday night. Jeff and I get settled in, watch some TV, read a little and then crash HARD at about 10pm. Jeff is sleeping on the sofa because of his left shoulder problems. The queen sized bed is not going to cut it when he has to sleep in a specific way, you know? We logged in about 10 hours of sleep, both of us, thank goodness. Ahhhhhhhh!! What a total RELIEF that is!
We get stuff packed up and wait around for the Doc to come in to give the final Okay to leave. I’d thought that we’d need to be out of the room by 11am but the nurses say not to worry, that we can stay as long as we need to. Okay, good ‘nuf, I’ll order breakfast. I order, eat several bites and hand the rest over to Jeff. Lunch rolls ‘round with no sign of the Doc so Jeff goes to run an errand and returns by 2pm, when the doc arrives. She tells me that I can stay in the hospital if I want overnight if I have any concerns, but I’m ready to go, chills and all. She also tells me that she’d like for me to go see an oncologist at MD Anderson, Dr. Yao, and sets it up for them to call me to set up an appointment. I still have my oncologist in Cedar Park but want that second opinion from the experts at MD A. I fill out 5 “Stars of G5!” forms, which gives accolades and thanks to those nurses, aides, etc., who’ve been exceptional in my ward, we pack up and send for the big old wheelchair limo, which will hold everything that we have and then some. My chauffer is the sparking Shirley again! Great, grand and we’re on our way to Selia’s, finally!!!! =)
Selia’s Habitat Guest House is like a very nice B&B setup, with complete kitchen, 1 bed, 1 bath, little dinette area and living room. Warm and inviting, it just screams of it’s host, Ms. Selia Qynn. I get tears in my eyes when I spot what she’s left on the table in the dinette area. There is a gorgeous, cheerful bouquet of flowers with a giant butterfly balloon attached to it sitting there, right next to a Happy Birthday fruit torte for Jeff that has candles on it that state, “25?” Two cards await us each and I’m just blown away. Wow, what a welcome. Selia is Snow White, I swear. More on this later….gotta see her website. Amazing lady, amazing place. www.selia.com
We drop our stuff off and go to CVS to get prescriptions filled and pick up a few grocery provisions while we’re there. We’re both pooped out and cranky, but grateful to get to a bit of normality for once. We were going to get together with some friends this evening, but thankfully, they cancel and we make plans to order up some Chinese and have dinner together on Wednesday night. Jeff and I get settled in, watch some TV, read a little and then crash HARD at about 10pm. Jeff is sleeping on the sofa because of his left shoulder problems. The queen sized bed is not going to cut it when he has to sleep in a specific way, you know? We logged in about 10 hours of sleep, both of us, thank goodness. Ahhhhhhhh!! What a total RELIEF that is!
Monday, August 11
Monday, 8-11-08
Food for the first time in 10 days, small portions, still nauseating. Given anti-nausea meds, pain meds and, right before heading to the beauty shop, I’m allowed to remove the IV due to my left hand swelling painfully with no signs of good veins to put another into. Played out veins and my hand looks like a blown up latex hospital glove but I’m unplugged, finally! I go down to the hospital beauty shop via a wheelchair driven by a cheerful lady named Shirley. Amazing place! Endowments allow for patients to have their hair washed, dried and styled for free, here. I’m just going to get mine washed and braided. Endowments ALSO allow for free wigs and hair covers for those who need them. I’m so touched by all of this. If you end up at MD Anderson, be sure to ask your nurses who to talk to about how best to benefit from these generous offers. How cool, right?
I get back to the room and take a tube free shower for the first time in DAYS. What a relief to not have to bathe with one hand above, taped up in Saran Wrap so the IV port doesn’t get messed up. My digestion is still sluggish but the gas problems are lessening and gas is passing more frequently. The April Balloon is shrinking, hooray! Jeff and I thrown a mini-party every time I toot. I want ticker tape and demand a parade each time. I’m becoming very proud of my newfound ability to poot these days.
Jeff gives me a wheelchair tour of the cafeteria and Mays Building across the way, but I get tired out after about an hour and we return to the cold hospital room. I’m supposed to be released tomorrow, but I’m a little concerned about the cold sweats/chills and nausea that I’m still experiencing. Don’t want to leave only to have to return, but I tell myself that this is just part of the healing process and, knowing that I’ll be close to MD Anderson, resolve to get over my bad self and get over to Selia’s asap. I know it’ll be good for me there.
News flash: Our son, Alex, calls at 9pm with news that he is in trouble and needs to be rescued. No need for details, but my poor Jeff ends up spending the late evening and early morning hours bailing Alex out of his trouble. He gets in around 6am to grab a few zzzs before bailing ME out in the morning. Poor guy is so exhausted.
Food for the first time in 10 days, small portions, still nauseating. Given anti-nausea meds, pain meds and, right before heading to the beauty shop, I’m allowed to remove the IV due to my left hand swelling painfully with no signs of good veins to put another into. Played out veins and my hand looks like a blown up latex hospital glove but I’m unplugged, finally! I go down to the hospital beauty shop via a wheelchair driven by a cheerful lady named Shirley. Amazing place! Endowments allow for patients to have their hair washed, dried and styled for free, here. I’m just going to get mine washed and braided. Endowments ALSO allow for free wigs and hair covers for those who need them. I’m so touched by all of this. If you end up at MD Anderson, be sure to ask your nurses who to talk to about how best to benefit from these generous offers. How cool, right?
I get back to the room and take a tube free shower for the first time in DAYS. What a relief to not have to bathe with one hand above, taped up in Saran Wrap so the IV port doesn’t get messed up. My digestion is still sluggish but the gas problems are lessening and gas is passing more frequently. The April Balloon is shrinking, hooray! Jeff and I thrown a mini-party every time I toot. I want ticker tape and demand a parade each time. I’m becoming very proud of my newfound ability to poot these days.
Jeff gives me a wheelchair tour of the cafeteria and Mays Building across the way, but I get tired out after about an hour and we return to the cold hospital room. I’m supposed to be released tomorrow, but I’m a little concerned about the cold sweats/chills and nausea that I’m still experiencing. Don’t want to leave only to have to return, but I tell myself that this is just part of the healing process and, knowing that I’ll be close to MD Anderson, resolve to get over my bad self and get over to Selia’s asap. I know it’ll be good for me there.
News flash: Our son, Alex, calls at 9pm with news that he is in trouble and needs to be rescued. No need for details, but my poor Jeff ends up spending the late evening and early morning hours bailing Alex out of his trouble. He gets in around 6am to grab a few zzzs before bailing ME out in the morning. Poor guy is so exhausted.
MD Anderson Appointment, Surgery and Hospitalization Details to Come
These details will take awhile to compile, so bear with me. I've been able to go back several days from the present time but will need to fill in this blank later. More to come, for sure, some helpful stuff, too....
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
April will be away from the computer for awhile but will be checking in on occasion. Please check back later....Thanks! =) This will be fleshed out fully once I get the chance, but will remain sketchy for a bit. Thank you for your patience!
The day before my appointment with Doctor Lambert, Jeff and I are invited over to dinner at Michael and Susie Brown's place. Their neighbor came in with a surplus catch of fish and donated quite a bit of his very fresh catch to his buds next door. So, Jeff and I get to benefit from this generosity, as well as M and S! Salle Walle, me best bud, was invited but had to decline 'cause she's got to get ready for an out of town trip. Jeff and I got comfy and headed over to their place around 7ish. What a meal! Gourmet to the nines and Jeff and I were told to bring nothing but our appetites! We are so spoiled by Susie's cooking and the fish is delish. Couldn't have better conversation, either. After about 1 hour of chit-chat, Michael finally turns to me and says, "Okay, so give us the skinny, what's going on...full story!" We give them the full run down and Michael is tearing up until I threaten him with a shrimp cocktail. I've told folks that I'll throw things at them if they treat me any different and the shrimp is the closest thing at hand....with cocktail sauce, to boot. Micheal dries up pretty quickly and the conversation turns to how many people they/we know who've battled some kind of physical garbage of one sort or another. Are we getting old? Nah...just have friends who've camped near Three Mile Island. Seriously, the evening was a smash and Jeff and I went back to Momcat's feeling great, though still a little trepedatious about the meeting with the doc. tomorrow. Dinner went a long way to alleviate some of those nerves, though, and we're very grateful again for such great friends. Tally Ho and on toward the first appointment at MD Anderson. I'm so ready!!!
The day before my appointment with Doctor Lambert, Jeff and I are invited over to dinner at Michael and Susie Brown's place. Their neighbor came in with a surplus catch of fish and donated quite a bit of his very fresh catch to his buds next door. So, Jeff and I get to benefit from this generosity, as well as M and S! Salle Walle, me best bud, was invited but had to decline 'cause she's got to get ready for an out of town trip. Jeff and I got comfy and headed over to their place around 7ish. What a meal! Gourmet to the nines and Jeff and I were told to bring nothing but our appetites! We are so spoiled by Susie's cooking and the fish is delish. Couldn't have better conversation, either. After about 1 hour of chit-chat, Michael finally turns to me and says, "Okay, so give us the skinny, what's going on...full story!" We give them the full run down and Michael is tearing up until I threaten him with a shrimp cocktail. I've told folks that I'll throw things at them if they treat me any different and the shrimp is the closest thing at hand....with cocktail sauce, to boot. Micheal dries up pretty quickly and the conversation turns to how many people they/we know who've battled some kind of physical garbage of one sort or another. Are we getting old? Nah...just have friends who've camped near Three Mile Island. Seriously, the evening was a smash and Jeff and I went back to Momcat's feeling great, though still a little trepedatious about the meeting with the doc. tomorrow. Dinner went a long way to alleviate some of those nerves, though, and we're very grateful again for such great friends. Tally Ho and on toward the first appointment at MD Anderson. I'm so ready!!!
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Jeff and I decided to take a sanity day, so after doing my catch-up blog and a few chores, he printed out winery maps and we hit the road. The Texas Hill Country will take your breath away, it's so beautiful. The drive alone will get your shoulders relaxing and is good for the soul. Nestled far into the Northern peninsula that is formed by the Pedernales and Colorado River conjoins is a picturesque winery called Stone House Winery. It rests almost at the tip of the peninsula and has some great views of Lake Travis, but you have to mosey outside to see it. They even have a dock that you can pull your boat up to but noone has utilized it yet. Jeff and I vow to do this once we get a boat.
The tasting room was smaller than most, but still comfy. They have a nice arbor outside with cafe seating. It overlooks the vines, so you know what to do in the fall. We did the regular wine tasting tour and then split a reserve tasting flight. My taste in wine is going more toward the reds these days. I don't like the sweetness that I used to in my earlier days as much and prefer something with a little more complexity than what you can get out of a box! No, not a wine snob at all, but I'm learning to appreciate the differences from one to another and what makes one special vs. what makes it table wine. It's an interesting and relaxing process....You gotta try it! We get our "wine passport" stamped and drive away with a bottle of Chiraz to add to our collection.
Next, we hit a very well hidden 17 acre winery called Spicewood Winery. You hear banjos playing as you go further and further back onto smaller and smaller roads and, just when you think someone might ask you to squeal like a pig, the scenery opens up to reveal row upon row of grapevines....muy bonita! The tasting room has a baby grand and a very oak barrel feel to the decor. The ceiling is done in knotty pine and it's very comfortable inside. So, we sit down while a grad student from UT pours us 1 oz. samples of several wines. He's amusing and we have a grand ole time talking about life on the farm....grape farm, that is. They are harvesting right now and doing the crush early because of the heat. Some of the grapes started exploding last year because of all of the rain but this year, the heat is making raisins out of 'em. It's so interesting to learn more about the process whilst imbibing the product! We are going to make a habit out of this. We have our "wine passport" stamped here, too, and leave with a bottle of their very resonably priced reserve zinfindel.
A word on wine passports: The Texas Hill Country wineries have formed ranks and have come up with a clever way to promote winery tours in Texas. If you visit any one of 24 wineries, you'll get a 'wine passport' that can be stamped when you visit each one. If you visit 12 of them, you get a free poster of Texas Hill Country wines. If you visit all 24 of them, you'll get a free poster that's signed by all of the owners of the Hill Country wineries. Oooooh, ah! Won't that look great in the pub!?!!! Lol....I think it'll be cute to have a collage done of the winery brochures and of the passport, personally, and could care less about the poster, but what a cute idea, no?
Anyway, back home we went, had a nice healthy salad and then lazed in front of the TV, watching "A League of Their Own" again. What a great day....gotta do a repeat soon and get more stamps on de ole passport! =)
The tasting room was smaller than most, but still comfy. They have a nice arbor outside with cafe seating. It overlooks the vines, so you know what to do in the fall. We did the regular wine tasting tour and then split a reserve tasting flight. My taste in wine is going more toward the reds these days. I don't like the sweetness that I used to in my earlier days as much and prefer something with a little more complexity than what you can get out of a box! No, not a wine snob at all, but I'm learning to appreciate the differences from one to another and what makes one special vs. what makes it table wine. It's an interesting and relaxing process....You gotta try it! We get our "wine passport" stamped and drive away with a bottle of Chiraz to add to our collection.
Next, we hit a very well hidden 17 acre winery called Spicewood Winery. You hear banjos playing as you go further and further back onto smaller and smaller roads and, just when you think someone might ask you to squeal like a pig, the scenery opens up to reveal row upon row of grapevines....muy bonita! The tasting room has a baby grand and a very oak barrel feel to the decor. The ceiling is done in knotty pine and it's very comfortable inside. So, we sit down while a grad student from UT pours us 1 oz. samples of several wines. He's amusing and we have a grand ole time talking about life on the farm....grape farm, that is. They are harvesting right now and doing the crush early because of the heat. Some of the grapes started exploding last year because of all of the rain but this year, the heat is making raisins out of 'em. It's so interesting to learn more about the process whilst imbibing the product! We are going to make a habit out of this. We have our "wine passport" stamped here, too, and leave with a bottle of their very resonably priced reserve zinfindel.
A word on wine passports: The Texas Hill Country wineries have formed ranks and have come up with a clever way to promote winery tours in Texas. If you visit any one of 24 wineries, you'll get a 'wine passport' that can be stamped when you visit each one. If you visit 12 of them, you get a free poster of Texas Hill Country wines. If you visit all 24 of them, you'll get a free poster that's signed by all of the owners of the Hill Country wineries. Oooooh, ah! Won't that look great in the pub!?!!! Lol....I think it'll be cute to have a collage done of the winery brochures and of the passport, personally, and could care less about the poster, but what a cute idea, no?
Anyway, back home we went, had a nice healthy salad and then lazed in front of the TV, watching "A League of Their Own" again. What a great day....gotta do a repeat soon and get more stamps on de ole passport! =)
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Thursday and Friday, July 24 & 25
Thursday was a slow news day. I felt as though a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and became more like myself again....What a free feeling! It's funny how the worry can settle in like a parasite. It snuggles deep in. It's still there, though less obvious, as you're distracting yourself with friends or dice or movies. Then, it rears up in the middle of the night and makes you go to your computer to do more research. For the first time in weeks, I did NOT wake in the middle of the night for a 3 hour or more stint, but slept through 'til 6am, Thursday morning. The worry parasite was almost excised by Alice's octreoscan news and I felt light and whole for most of the day. I did aerobics and got a bunch of small things taken care of on Thursday and felt darned good about it.
Friday came with only a couple of sleep interruptions, about 45 minutes long each, at 2:30 am and 5:00 am. I was able to shut my mind off to sleep, thank goodness! However, knowing that my oncology appointment was at 2:30pm, I decided to do a bit of research into the octreoscan as it pertains to my particular type of cancer. What I was seeing on Google was a bunch of conflicting information, but it started to dawn on me that octreoscans only pick up BATCHES of cancer cells that create tumors of a certain size. Goblet Cell Carcinoid cancer is a different breed, very rare, and does a 'salt and pepper' kind of sprinkling throughout one's tissue linings, making it hard to discern. I began to feel doubt creeping back in but resolved to remain positive.
When Jeff and I went to the oncologist, we found out that the octreoscan that I was counting on so much is, in fact, NOT a good indicator of what stage cancer I have. As I stated previously, I misunderstood the nurse when she called. The fact that the cancer didn't show up in the scan doesn't necessarily mean that the oid is gone. We found out that the octreoscan will only pick up tumors that are larger than 0.5cm in size, so the salt and pepper kind of cancer cells that Goblet Cell Carcinoid cancer is made up of wouldn't show up on this scan. However, it IS good news in that it shows that there are no large tumors. Doesn't show whether anything has or has not metastisized, though, so we'll just have to wait to find out more after I get the right hemicolectomy and removal of my ovaries. They'll check the lymph nodes and those organs and will be able to see if anything has grown.
I try to be positive: I have an appointment at MD Anderson on Monday, what's there to whine about, right??? =) I keep telling myself this....
Here is part of a research project that might explain a bit more about octreoscans:
"In-pentetreotide (Octreoscan ® ) which is positive in 80–90% of the
patients with midgut endocrine tumours [19] . It eventually
unmasks the primary and its regional lymph node
metastases and additional tumour manifestations within
lung, skin, breast, brain and other locations. Limitation
of the technique is related to the size of the lesion ( > 0.5 cm)
and the receptor density."
You can read more at: http://www.carcinoid.org/medpro/docs/ConsensusStatementDxNETGItumors2004.pdf
However, DO be careful not to jump to conclusions based upon one very technically written report and ALWAYS rely on what your doctor tells you vs. what you see on Google or Yahoo search engines. I've noticed a million conflicting reports, many of them written from several different decades in our time. My own blog, here, is only meant to tell you what tests to expect, give you a timeline of my journey, and, therefore possibly your own, give you some helpful hints and maybe educate a little based upon what my docs tell me. ONLY your doctor will have the newest and latest information about your particular cancer so make sure that you have good communication set up with your doc or with an updated cancer treatment center resource that your doc might recommend.
After getting this news, I tried and failed to not be upset about it. I could actually FEEL the tension building in my chest and knew that I was due for a good cry. Haven't had one in awhile. After about 1.5 hours from the time we left doc Bala's office, I told Jeff to get ready and then let it fly. Boooooo-hooooo! I am SO disappointed!! Wahhhh! Jeff gives me hugs and about 3 minutes later, I feel better for having gotten it out. Still disappointed but getting better and I'm less full of tension. I DO have that MD Anderson appointment. So, I try to be grateful for that and let the rest goooooooooo.
Jeff suggested we distract ourselves, but I wasn't in the mood for crowds. I wasn't in the mood to sit around the house and watch more travel channel shows, either. What to do? Jeff came up with a great idea. We packed a cooler and some chairs and headed out to the Lago Vista Park. Dabbling our toes in the water, we watched a stellar sunset, doubly beautiful because of the reflections in the glittering waters of Travis. We had a nice talk and I felt the stress melting with the setting sun. There's nothing like nature to bring you back to your senses. After the sun went down completely, we went to our 2 story condo and sat on the rooftop deck, watching the stars and a gorgeous nighttime view of Lake Travis, Pace Bend Park, across the way, with the myriad house lights flickering on the hobbit hills near Lago Vista's golf course in the distance. It was hard to leave but sleep is important, so we head home and I pop in one of the new sleeping pills that doc. Bala prescribed. I'm happy to report that it worked like a charm! Sleep at last, sleep at last!!! Happy, happy me..... =)
Friday came with only a couple of sleep interruptions, about 45 minutes long each, at 2:30 am and 5:00 am. I was able to shut my mind off to sleep, thank goodness! However, knowing that my oncology appointment was at 2:30pm, I decided to do a bit of research into the octreoscan as it pertains to my particular type of cancer. What I was seeing on Google was a bunch of conflicting information, but it started to dawn on me that octreoscans only pick up BATCHES of cancer cells that create tumors of a certain size. Goblet Cell Carcinoid cancer is a different breed, very rare, and does a 'salt and pepper' kind of sprinkling throughout one's tissue linings, making it hard to discern. I began to feel doubt creeping back in but resolved to remain positive.
When Jeff and I went to the oncologist, we found out that the octreoscan that I was counting on so much is, in fact, NOT a good indicator of what stage cancer I have. As I stated previously, I misunderstood the nurse when she called. The fact that the cancer didn't show up in the scan doesn't necessarily mean that the oid is gone. We found out that the octreoscan will only pick up tumors that are larger than 0.5cm in size, so the salt and pepper kind of cancer cells that Goblet Cell Carcinoid cancer is made up of wouldn't show up on this scan. However, it IS good news in that it shows that there are no large tumors. Doesn't show whether anything has or has not metastisized, though, so we'll just have to wait to find out more after I get the right hemicolectomy and removal of my ovaries. They'll check the lymph nodes and those organs and will be able to see if anything has grown.
I try to be positive: I have an appointment at MD Anderson on Monday, what's there to whine about, right??? =) I keep telling myself this....
Here is part of a research project that might explain a bit more about octreoscans:
"In-pentetreotide (Octreoscan ® ) which is positive in 80–90% of the
patients with midgut endocrine tumours [19] . It eventually
unmasks the primary and its regional lymph node
metastases and additional tumour manifestations within
lung, skin, breast, brain and other locations. Limitation
of the technique is related to the size of the lesion ( > 0.5 cm)
and the receptor density."
You can read more at: http://www.carcinoid.org/medpro/docs/ConsensusStatementDxNETGItumors2004.pdf
However, DO be careful not to jump to conclusions based upon one very technically written report and ALWAYS rely on what your doctor tells you vs. what you see on Google or Yahoo search engines. I've noticed a million conflicting reports, many of them written from several different decades in our time. My own blog, here, is only meant to tell you what tests to expect, give you a timeline of my journey, and, therefore possibly your own, give you some helpful hints and maybe educate a little based upon what my docs tell me. ONLY your doctor will have the newest and latest information about your particular cancer so make sure that you have good communication set up with your doc or with an updated cancer treatment center resource that your doc might recommend.
After getting this news, I tried and failed to not be upset about it. I could actually FEEL the tension building in my chest and knew that I was due for a good cry. Haven't had one in awhile. After about 1.5 hours from the time we left doc Bala's office, I told Jeff to get ready and then let it fly. Boooooo-hooooo! I am SO disappointed!! Wahhhh! Jeff gives me hugs and about 3 minutes later, I feel better for having gotten it out. Still disappointed but getting better and I'm less full of tension. I DO have that MD Anderson appointment. So, I try to be grateful for that and let the rest goooooooooo.
Jeff suggested we distract ourselves, but I wasn't in the mood for crowds. I wasn't in the mood to sit around the house and watch more travel channel shows, either. What to do? Jeff came up with a great idea. We packed a cooler and some chairs and headed out to the Lago Vista Park. Dabbling our toes in the water, we watched a stellar sunset, doubly beautiful because of the reflections in the glittering waters of Travis. We had a nice talk and I felt the stress melting with the setting sun. There's nothing like nature to bring you back to your senses. After the sun went down completely, we went to our 2 story condo and sat on the rooftop deck, watching the stars and a gorgeous nighttime view of Lake Travis, Pace Bend Park, across the way, with the myriad house lights flickering on the hobbit hills near Lago Vista's golf course in the distance. It was hard to leave but sleep is important, so we head home and I pop in one of the new sleeping pills that doc. Bala prescribed. I'm happy to report that it worked like a charm! Sleep at last, sleep at last!!! Happy, happy me..... =)
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Well, my day started out as usual, but a little earlier than I’d like. Went to bed last night at about 11:30pm, taking 2, count’ em 2, Simply Sleeps to help me sleep all the way through the night for once. Didn’t happen. I awoke at 1:30am in a complete sweat and then got chilled. Don’t know what’s up with that but it does make it hard to go back to sleep, especially when your mind flips 'on' at the drop of a hat. I tossed for about an hour and then got up to research some more and have some chocolate milk. I think the weight that I’m putting on is directly related to my sleeplessness….Chocolate milk, even skim milk, adds on calories! =) Back to sleep at 5:30am to arise for real at 9. I’m going to ask Jeff to knock me over the head with a rubber mallet tonight!! Aprils get weepy and weird when they don’t gets enough sleeps!
Part of the problem is this: A friend of mine in Houston was attacked by 4 dogs 2 days ago and is in the hospital on heavy sedation. I’m so worried for her and am praying like crazy. I just cannot imagine how she feels and want to go down there to visit TODAY, but 2 of my other friends are going to see her this afternoon and will give her hugs and kisses for me. They’ll keep me updated on her progress. I have to stay in Austin for now but I’ll send her flowers and Love from afar. Her name is Tammy D. and she's at Memorial Hermann on Fannin in Houston if you’re keeping up with this daily and would like to add her to your prayer list.
Yoga time, business, catching up on thank you notes in what’s left of the am. So much to catch up with but I’ll get there!
(An aside: The following is what I posted on Wednesday. Unfortunately, I jumped the gun and misunderstood some of the information given to me by Nurse Alice. I'm only allowing the post from Wednesday to remain because I think it illustrates the danger of jumping to conclusions. Don't get your hopes up until you get news directly from the doctor. I think I heard what I wanted to hear but the news sounded fantastic to me when I heard it and I really wanted to believe that I was cancer free.)
I’m doing the bills when a call comes in from Nurse Alice. She tells me to hold onto my hat ‘cause she has the results of my Octreoscans. Good news. Amazing news. An Octreoscan is 85% accurate. My scans show no sign of cancer anymore. It appears as if, when she went in to clip off that suspicious, rubbery section of colon, Doc Basa might’ve removed the last bit of the Oid. Might’ve. We’ll know more on Friday when I get to speak with Doc Bala and then Monday at MD Anderson w/ Doc Lambert. I have to get off the phone with Alice ‘cause I’m starting to choke up, I’m so relieved….
Oh, my GOSH!! Words cannot describe how I feel about this news!! The choir sings “Hallelujah!” and I’m thanking God and all who prayed and crying like crazy, hopping around my rental house kitchen, yelling, "THANK YOU!!!" over and over!! I feel like doing handsprings! Sleep deprivation makes me cry harder, still. (Didn't I tell you sleep deprivation makes me weird and weepy?) Jeff was off at his physical therapy session and I waited until he got back so I could tell him before I started calling folks. He’s at first a bit shell shocked and then the news settles in and we BOTH feel like doing handsprings. But, we’re cautious not to get TOO optimistic ‘cause we haven’t gotten the news from any doctors yet, just a beautiful lady named Alice who couldn’t wait to tell me the good news. I’m only calling my best friend and family about this because the information MAY be inaccurate but I can’t help but rejoice at the thought of this, for SURE, not being a stage III cancer. And now, I’m supposed to go back and finish doing the bills? =) =) =)
Well, my day started out as usual, but a little earlier than I’d like. Went to bed last night at about 11:30pm, taking 2, count’ em 2, Simply Sleeps to help me sleep all the way through the night for once. Didn’t happen. I awoke at 1:30am in a complete sweat and then got chilled. Don’t know what’s up with that but it does make it hard to go back to sleep, especially when your mind flips 'on' at the drop of a hat. I tossed for about an hour and then got up to research some more and have some chocolate milk. I think the weight that I’m putting on is directly related to my sleeplessness….Chocolate milk, even skim milk, adds on calories! =) Back to sleep at 5:30am to arise for real at 9. I’m going to ask Jeff to knock me over the head with a rubber mallet tonight!! Aprils get weepy and weird when they don’t gets enough sleeps!
Part of the problem is this: A friend of mine in Houston was attacked by 4 dogs 2 days ago and is in the hospital on heavy sedation. I’m so worried for her and am praying like crazy. I just cannot imagine how she feels and want to go down there to visit TODAY, but 2 of my other friends are going to see her this afternoon and will give her hugs and kisses for me. They’ll keep me updated on her progress. I have to stay in Austin for now but I’ll send her flowers and Love from afar. Her name is Tammy D. and she's at Memorial Hermann on Fannin in Houston if you’re keeping up with this daily and would like to add her to your prayer list.
Yoga time, business, catching up on thank you notes in what’s left of the am. So much to catch up with but I’ll get there!
(An aside: The following is what I posted on Wednesday. Unfortunately, I jumped the gun and misunderstood some of the information given to me by Nurse Alice. I'm only allowing the post from Wednesday to remain because I think it illustrates the danger of jumping to conclusions. Don't get your hopes up until you get news directly from the doctor. I think I heard what I wanted to hear but the news sounded fantastic to me when I heard it and I really wanted to believe that I was cancer free.)
I’m doing the bills when a call comes in from Nurse Alice. She tells me to hold onto my hat ‘cause she has the results of my Octreoscans. Good news. Amazing news. An Octreoscan is 85% accurate. My scans show no sign of cancer anymore. It appears as if, when she went in to clip off that suspicious, rubbery section of colon, Doc Basa might’ve removed the last bit of the Oid. Might’ve. We’ll know more on Friday when I get to speak with Doc Bala and then Monday at MD Anderson w/ Doc Lambert. I have to get off the phone with Alice ‘cause I’m starting to choke up, I’m so relieved….
Oh, my GOSH!! Words cannot describe how I feel about this news!! The choir sings “Hallelujah!” and I’m thanking God and all who prayed and crying like crazy, hopping around my rental house kitchen, yelling, "THANK YOU!!!" over and over!! I feel like doing handsprings! Sleep deprivation makes me cry harder, still. (Didn't I tell you sleep deprivation makes me weird and weepy?) Jeff was off at his physical therapy session and I waited until he got back so I could tell him before I started calling folks. He’s at first a bit shell shocked and then the news settles in and we BOTH feel like doing handsprings. But, we’re cautious not to get TOO optimistic ‘cause we haven’t gotten the news from any doctors yet, just a beautiful lady named Alice who couldn’t wait to tell me the good news. I’m only calling my best friend and family about this because the information MAY be inaccurate but I can’t help but rejoice at the thought of this, for SURE, not being a stage III cancer. And now, I’m supposed to go back and finish doing the bills? =) =) =)
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Tuesday, July 22
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Another 3 hour break in the middle of my sleep cycle! Man, I need a good sleep aid! I awoke at 2:30 and didn’t get back to sleep until about 5:30. Read, blog, play Spider, drink chocolate milk, read some more and finally pass back out. 4-5 hours of sleep per night ain’t gonna cut it so I will ask about sleep medication when I go to see my oncologist this week. Beware! This blog might get weird ‘cause I’m one sleep deprived mama right now and might be on drugs by next week! =)
Off to finish out the Octreoscan this morning. They told me that it would take 2 hours but it only took one. Also, the tech said that the testing no longer goes to 48 hours. So, be careful of what you read on Google and be sure to question everything yourselves!
They took more pics and, afterward, I asked them to make a copy of the films for MD Anderson and to get those over to Dr. Bala, local oncologist, so that I can pick them up later this week. They’re gonna do that and I’ll hand deliver the films to Dr. Lambert.
HANDY TIP: BUY YOGA PANTS AND/OR SOME LIGHT SWEAT PANTS RIGHT NOW IF YOU ARE GOING TO GET LOTS OF TESTING DONE!!! Today, because I am just so darned brilliant, I just had to remove my brassiere and didn’t have to remove ANY of my dignity! =) What a bargain. Make sure that there are no zippers, metal fasteners, bulky pockets, etc. and you should be okay. Then, just make that your test uniform, along with a tee shirt. *Voila!* No need to worry about inadvertently mooning the techs.
Out to lunch with Jeff to have some great Chinese. We are eating out WAY too much these days for some reason and I’m starting to put on a few pounds. Guess I’m getting lazy as a chef, but I’m about to change that. I’m going to try to change my diet to a more nutritious and organic regimen. Fortunately, I usually keep a stock of fresh raw veggies on hand to dip in Lt. Ranch dressing for snacks. So, it won’t be a stretch to do the same with mealtime. However, it might take some doing to get Jeff to convert. We’ll see….shhhh, don’t tell him.
Now, after filling out some of the MD Anderson forms that came in the mail, I’m catching up on blogging and replying to some email messages. You know, one can only do so much tedious work before one has to ‘break’ for something more stimulating. How many times can you fill out what medicines you’re taking, how many per day, what dose and for how long? Past surgeries? List ‘em in detail along with their date. Did they hurt? __ Yes __ No On a scale of 1 to 10, how much? What's your cat's name? Okay, now I’m kidding but, whew!, it can get old doing that over and over and over and over and over again. And, I’m sure there’s more coming.
HANDY TIP: Make a copy of the first set of forms that you have filled out from your first doctor's appointment and keep that in a handy-dandy Oid folder that you will carry around with you from appointment to appointment. This way, you'll have all that information already at hand and will just need to transcribe it all to the new forms. Much easier and more consistant than trying to remember all that garbage again, right. =) Now, aren't you glad you're reading this?
Another 3 hour break in the middle of my sleep cycle! Man, I need a good sleep aid! I awoke at 2:30 and didn’t get back to sleep until about 5:30. Read, blog, play Spider, drink chocolate milk, read some more and finally pass back out. 4-5 hours of sleep per night ain’t gonna cut it so I will ask about sleep medication when I go to see my oncologist this week. Beware! This blog might get weird ‘cause I’m one sleep deprived mama right now and might be on drugs by next week! =)
Off to finish out the Octreoscan this morning. They told me that it would take 2 hours but it only took one. Also, the tech said that the testing no longer goes to 48 hours. So, be careful of what you read on Google and be sure to question everything yourselves!
They took more pics and, afterward, I asked them to make a copy of the films for MD Anderson and to get those over to Dr. Bala, local oncologist, so that I can pick them up later this week. They’re gonna do that and I’ll hand deliver the films to Dr. Lambert.
HANDY TIP: BUY YOGA PANTS AND/OR SOME LIGHT SWEAT PANTS RIGHT NOW IF YOU ARE GOING TO GET LOTS OF TESTING DONE!!! Today, because I am just so darned brilliant, I just had to remove my brassiere and didn’t have to remove ANY of my dignity! =) What a bargain. Make sure that there are no zippers, metal fasteners, bulky pockets, etc. and you should be okay. Then, just make that your test uniform, along with a tee shirt. *Voila!* No need to worry about inadvertently mooning the techs.
Out to lunch with Jeff to have some great Chinese. We are eating out WAY too much these days for some reason and I’m starting to put on a few pounds. Guess I’m getting lazy as a chef, but I’m about to change that. I’m going to try to change my diet to a more nutritious and organic regimen. Fortunately, I usually keep a stock of fresh raw veggies on hand to dip in Lt. Ranch dressing for snacks. So, it won’t be a stretch to do the same with mealtime. However, it might take some doing to get Jeff to convert. We’ll see….shhhh, don’t tell him.
Now, after filling out some of the MD Anderson forms that came in the mail, I’m catching up on blogging and replying to some email messages. You know, one can only do so much tedious work before one has to ‘break’ for something more stimulating. How many times can you fill out what medicines you’re taking, how many per day, what dose and for how long? Past surgeries? List ‘em in detail along with their date. Did they hurt? __ Yes __ No On a scale of 1 to 10, how much? What's your cat's name? Okay, now I’m kidding but, whew!, it can get old doing that over and over and over and over and over again. And, I’m sure there’s more coming.
HANDY TIP: Make a copy of the first set of forms that you have filled out from your first doctor's appointment and keep that in a handy-dandy Oid folder that you will carry around with you from appointment to appointment. This way, you'll have all that information already at hand and will just need to transcribe it all to the new forms. Much easier and more consistant than trying to remember all that garbage again, right. =) Now, aren't you glad you're reading this?
Monday, July 21, 2008
Monday, July 21, 2008
Monday 21
Awake at 2:30am after going to bed at 12:30~! Crap! Now, it’s 5:30 and still no sleep. Jeff said that he couldn’t get to sleep and, at 3am, finally got up and started looking into what songs he wanted to download online from his leftover Christmas Itunes gift from our son. I got up around 3:30 to see if he was okay and found him in his study. We had some chocolate milk and now he’s in there snoring and the sky is getting lighter. I've researched a little, played a game of Spider and am now back to blogging. Yup, it’s nearly 6am….Time to try to sleep again.
After getting a couple more hours of sleep, I’m up at 9am to call Nurse Alice about the Tomato debacle. I leave her a message and hear back from her about 8 minutes later. Yay! Nurse Alice tells that the amounts I had wouldn’t impact the results. She’d even double checked with the lab folks. She is DEFINITELY getting flowers! I’m so happy that I don’t have to be chained near the house for another day, but now I might be late for my Octreoscan, so I shower, put on a little makeup and Jeff helps me slam the cooler with the wee in it into the car so that I can take it for a little ride to Mid-Town, where they will give me the radioactive injection. That only takes 30 minutes, from getting out of the car to getting back into it! (Make sure you validate your parking!)
Here’s the information about that Octreoscan again: http://www.msit.com/qap_oct.html
Then, I’m off to deliver my special cargo. But first, a visit to Costco to get flowers for Nurse Alice. She gets purple irises with yellow baby’s breath type stuff in it for her desk this week. Muy Bonita! Off to HEB for a vase and I’m all set. I take the heavy bottles and flowers up and hand everything off to the kind folks in the lab. Mr. Weightlifter (lab guy) agrees to take the flowers to Alice and verifies for me, again, that the tomatoes will NOT impede progress. *Sigh*
On the way home, I stop by Yama sushi and I spend WAY too much for lunch. Rock and Roll Roll is delish but not on the lunch menu. That's okay; I'm worth it. =) And, I'm celebrating hurdling the wee-wee test.
Back home to drop off the cooler and some shopping items, then back to Mid-Town ARA for the scan, which essentially establishes a baseline for the testing that will be done tomorrow. I didn’t read about this part of the test on Google, so double check this with your docs.
Score! They let you keep your clothes on for this one! You lay down on a long table and they cinch in your arms and tie a rubber band around your feets. Now, you are a human burrito. Just to make sure that the effect is right, they drape a warm, soft white blanket over you and tuck you in. (Taco Bell would be proud.) Here's the process:
They motor the table into a doughnut shaped machine that has an X-Ray type flat imaging board jutting out of it toward you, flat part facing down. It's open so you probably won't get claustrophobic. However, the flat part ends up right above your face. You don’t mind too much because there's a really nice warm towel on you and you’re getting drowsy, you big burrito, you. Don’t freak out when they start to lower the flat part of the imaging board toward your face. They’ll stop it in time and won’t make a pancake out of your head, though my mind DID wander that way. I ended up just closing my eyes and nearly found myself sleeping during several moments during the procedure.
Next, the table will very, very slowly deliver you back out, away from the doughnut and imaging board while the machine takes multiple images of your body, tip to toe. It's quiet, takes about 30 minutes and is painless. They tell me that tomorrow’s pics will take about 2 hours and that, yes, I can wear my yoga pants. They usually make you ‘gown it’ for this but yoga pants have no metal and nothing to obscure the pics in their makeup. I want to buy them flowers, too, but have to draw the line somewhere.
I need to catch up on writing back to my wonderful friends and family but I’m soooo tired! I will have to leave that for later and know that they’ll all understand. I’m feeling very positive about all of this. Time to go veg out for a little bit in front of the TV. This doesn't last for long.
Jeff and I decide to go out for a little while and hit the local Pub in Cedar Park. It’s the only one IN Cedar Park that has a multitude of different snob beers for Jeff to choose from. Jeff and I ask the owner/waitress for six dice so that we can play “Sh*t Dice.” (It’s almost a version of Farkle, but the method of point counting is different.) She brings them over and we proceed to roll the bones. I have AMAZING luck and slam dunk Jeff in record time for the first two games. Makes me wonder if the prayers are responsible, it really does! In all my life of playing this game, I have NEVER so quickly beat the pants off of anyone by rolling consistently huge and high rolls each time. I win the third game by just a little bit. Jeff gets tired of me kicking his tail in dice and we switch to darts. I beat him at that, too, but only by a little. Har-de-harrrr....lol....
Now, please don’t think that I’m being sacrilegious by suggesting that my luck at dice has something to do with all of these beautiful people praying for me. I’m not taking the prayers lightly by any stretch of the imagination. But, you wouldn’t believe the incredi-luck unless you were there. Just blew both Jeff and I away! =)
We head home and my dear husband, Chef-frey, cooks up some delicious chicken breasts in sesame ginger sauce to go into a Oriental Chicken Salad. Delish!!! He’s pretty darn good at cooking and I'm a happy camper.
Interesting aside: Our huge sissy boy kitty, Rum Tum Tugger (Tugger, for short), has taken to being my belly warmer during the last several days. He wasn’t doing it before, but now he’ll jump up onto my belly when I’m reclining to watch TV and will make himself at home on my tummy. Purrrrrrrrr! I’ve heard that cats are good at reading when someone has health issues and have also read that a kitty’s purring on your bod can be very good for your bones/health. Something like that. Anyway, I have a little gray domesticated tiger who’s keeping an eye on me and it feels nice. =)
Awake at 2:30am after going to bed at 12:30~! Crap! Now, it’s 5:30 and still no sleep. Jeff said that he couldn’t get to sleep and, at 3am, finally got up and started looking into what songs he wanted to download online from his leftover Christmas Itunes gift from our son. I got up around 3:30 to see if he was okay and found him in his study. We had some chocolate milk and now he’s in there snoring and the sky is getting lighter. I've researched a little, played a game of Spider and am now back to blogging. Yup, it’s nearly 6am….Time to try to sleep again.
After getting a couple more hours of sleep, I’m up at 9am to call Nurse Alice about the Tomato debacle. I leave her a message and hear back from her about 8 minutes later. Yay! Nurse Alice tells that the amounts I had wouldn’t impact the results. She’d even double checked with the lab folks. She is DEFINITELY getting flowers! I’m so happy that I don’t have to be chained near the house for another day, but now I might be late for my Octreoscan, so I shower, put on a little makeup and Jeff helps me slam the cooler with the wee in it into the car so that I can take it for a little ride to Mid-Town, where they will give me the radioactive injection. That only takes 30 minutes, from getting out of the car to getting back into it! (Make sure you validate your parking!)
Here’s the information about that Octreoscan again: http://www.msit.com/qap_oct.html
Then, I’m off to deliver my special cargo. But first, a visit to Costco to get flowers for Nurse Alice. She gets purple irises with yellow baby’s breath type stuff in it for her desk this week. Muy Bonita! Off to HEB for a vase and I’m all set. I take the heavy bottles and flowers up and hand everything off to the kind folks in the lab. Mr. Weightlifter (lab guy) agrees to take the flowers to Alice and verifies for me, again, that the tomatoes will NOT impede progress. *Sigh*
On the way home, I stop by Yama sushi and I spend WAY too much for lunch. Rock and Roll Roll is delish but not on the lunch menu. That's okay; I'm worth it. =) And, I'm celebrating hurdling the wee-wee test.
Back home to drop off the cooler and some shopping items, then back to Mid-Town ARA for the scan, which essentially establishes a baseline for the testing that will be done tomorrow. I didn’t read about this part of the test on Google, so double check this with your docs.
Score! They let you keep your clothes on for this one! You lay down on a long table and they cinch in your arms and tie a rubber band around your feets. Now, you are a human burrito. Just to make sure that the effect is right, they drape a warm, soft white blanket over you and tuck you in. (Taco Bell would be proud.) Here's the process:
They motor the table into a doughnut shaped machine that has an X-Ray type flat imaging board jutting out of it toward you, flat part facing down. It's open so you probably won't get claustrophobic. However, the flat part ends up right above your face. You don’t mind too much because there's a really nice warm towel on you and you’re getting drowsy, you big burrito, you. Don’t freak out when they start to lower the flat part of the imaging board toward your face. They’ll stop it in time and won’t make a pancake out of your head, though my mind DID wander that way. I ended up just closing my eyes and nearly found myself sleeping during several moments during the procedure.
Next, the table will very, very slowly deliver you back out, away from the doughnut and imaging board while the machine takes multiple images of your body, tip to toe. It's quiet, takes about 30 minutes and is painless. They tell me that tomorrow’s pics will take about 2 hours and that, yes, I can wear my yoga pants. They usually make you ‘gown it’ for this but yoga pants have no metal and nothing to obscure the pics in their makeup. I want to buy them flowers, too, but have to draw the line somewhere.
I need to catch up on writing back to my wonderful friends and family but I’m soooo tired! I will have to leave that for later and know that they’ll all understand. I’m feeling very positive about all of this. Time to go veg out for a little bit in front of the TV. This doesn't last for long.
Jeff and I decide to go out for a little while and hit the local Pub in Cedar Park. It’s the only one IN Cedar Park that has a multitude of different snob beers for Jeff to choose from. Jeff and I ask the owner/waitress for six dice so that we can play “Sh*t Dice.” (It’s almost a version of Farkle, but the method of point counting is different.) She brings them over and we proceed to roll the bones. I have AMAZING luck and slam dunk Jeff in record time for the first two games. Makes me wonder if the prayers are responsible, it really does! In all my life of playing this game, I have NEVER so quickly beat the pants off of anyone by rolling consistently huge and high rolls each time. I win the third game by just a little bit. Jeff gets tired of me kicking his tail in dice and we switch to darts. I beat him at that, too, but only by a little. Har-de-harrrr....lol....
Now, please don’t think that I’m being sacrilegious by suggesting that my luck at dice has something to do with all of these beautiful people praying for me. I’m not taking the prayers lightly by any stretch of the imagination. But, you wouldn’t believe the incredi-luck unless you were there. Just blew both Jeff and I away! =)
We head home and my dear husband, Chef-frey, cooks up some delicious chicken breasts in sesame ginger sauce to go into a Oriental Chicken Salad. Delish!!! He’s pretty darn good at cooking and I'm a happy camper.
Interesting aside: Our huge sissy boy kitty, Rum Tum Tugger (Tugger, for short), has taken to being my belly warmer during the last several days. He wasn’t doing it before, but now he’ll jump up onto my belly when I’m reclining to watch TV and will make himself at home on my tummy. Purrrrrrrrr! I’ve heard that cats are good at reading when someone has health issues and have also read that a kitty’s purring on your bod can be very good for your bones/health. Something like that. Anyway, I have a little gray domesticated tiger who’s keeping an eye on me and it feels nice. =)
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Sunday 20
I finally get to sleep in, catching up after a 1.5 hour middle of the night sleep break!!!! Happy day!!! =)
It’s PEE DAY!! This is a fun one. For your 24-hour long urine collection day, you’ll need the following:
1. You.
2. A pee container, plastic and watertight, given to you by your oncologist’s lab peeps. It’s pretty big but not big enough if you drink tons of water, coffee and juices like I do. I won’t share those details, though. You’re welcome.
3. A “Hat.” A hat is a little white plastic wee collector that could make some kid really, really happy. If they so chose, they could put it on their heads upside down at Halloween and go trick or treating as a Cosmic Nun or a Gay Storm Trooper. You won’t find a more creative kid in the neighborhood. This item fits into your toidy, under the seat and nestled onto the rim that you just scrubbed the heck out of. You collect your wee in it and pour THAT into item #2.
4. An ice chest. Unless you want to put item #2 into your fridge. You really don’t want to do that, do you? Didn’t think so. Freeze some water filled soda bottles or milk jugs in your freezer a couple of days beforehand and you won’t even have to buy ice. Just put the container on a rag inside the ice chest and surround it with the filled, frozen bottles of water. Ta-da! Refrigerated wee, just what the doctor ordered!
Why might you be taking this test? http://www.labcorp.com/datasets/labcorp/html/chapter/mono/sc011800.htm
What you might expect when taking this test:http://www.carcinoid.org/pcf/docs/5HIAA.htm
No tomatoes, avocados, pineapples, aspirin, etc.
(These sites might be helpful but your doctor will have full details and instructions for you.)
Last night, as I was preparing to do the testing for today, I re-read the test instructions again, just in case I’m missed something. I had. Tomatoes. Oh, no, I did not see the part about the tomatoes. I had fajita nachos with Janet at lunch on Friday, Pizza w/ tomatoes with friends Friday night and Tex-Mex with my sis and hubby Saturday night! Will the few bits of tomato on my taco and the couple of scoops of hot sauce wreck the test results? I don’t want to wait longer to take the test ‘cause my appointment with my Cedar Park oncologist AND with MD Anderson are coming up and I want to have the results in time for those. HOW-EV-ER. Those results MUST be accurate. I decide to do the wee-thang and call first thing Monday to see if my tomato sins will nullify the test results. I am such a dork at times. What a bad patient.Can’t go far away from home and my hat, so today is filled with mundane chore type stuff like shopping and trying to find more good local (VERY local for today) sushi.
(Will fill in the blanks below some other time….No time right now!)Grocery Shopping and Bad SushiTarget and Home DepotPorkchops for dinnerCan’t find the movie Crazy Sexy Cancer, recommended by Patti Sullivan, a music friend of mine from Houston. Will check with the library tomorrow. More to come.
I finally get to sleep in, catching up after a 1.5 hour middle of the night sleep break!!!! Happy day!!! =)
It’s PEE DAY!! This is a fun one. For your 24-hour long urine collection day, you’ll need the following:
1. You.
2. A pee container, plastic and watertight, given to you by your oncologist’s lab peeps. It’s pretty big but not big enough if you drink tons of water, coffee and juices like I do. I won’t share those details, though. You’re welcome.
3. A “Hat.” A hat is a little white plastic wee collector that could make some kid really, really happy. If they so chose, they could put it on their heads upside down at Halloween and go trick or treating as a Cosmic Nun or a Gay Storm Trooper. You won’t find a more creative kid in the neighborhood. This item fits into your toidy, under the seat and nestled onto the rim that you just scrubbed the heck out of. You collect your wee in it and pour THAT into item #2.
4. An ice chest. Unless you want to put item #2 into your fridge. You really don’t want to do that, do you? Didn’t think so. Freeze some water filled soda bottles or milk jugs in your freezer a couple of days beforehand and you won’t even have to buy ice. Just put the container on a rag inside the ice chest and surround it with the filled, frozen bottles of water. Ta-da! Refrigerated wee, just what the doctor ordered!
Why might you be taking this test? http://www.labcorp.com/datasets/labcorp/html/chapter/mono/sc011800.htm
What you might expect when taking this test:http://www.carcinoid.org/pcf/docs/5HIAA.htm
No tomatoes, avocados, pineapples, aspirin, etc.
(These sites might be helpful but your doctor will have full details and instructions for you.)
Last night, as I was preparing to do the testing for today, I re-read the test instructions again, just in case I’m missed something. I had. Tomatoes. Oh, no, I did not see the part about the tomatoes. I had fajita nachos with Janet at lunch on Friday, Pizza w/ tomatoes with friends Friday night and Tex-Mex with my sis and hubby Saturday night! Will the few bits of tomato on my taco and the couple of scoops of hot sauce wreck the test results? I don’t want to wait longer to take the test ‘cause my appointment with my Cedar Park oncologist AND with MD Anderson are coming up and I want to have the results in time for those. HOW-EV-ER. Those results MUST be accurate. I decide to do the wee-thang and call first thing Monday to see if my tomato sins will nullify the test results. I am such a dork at times. What a bad patient.Can’t go far away from home and my hat, so today is filled with mundane chore type stuff like shopping and trying to find more good local (VERY local for today) sushi.
(Will fill in the blanks below some other time….No time right now!)Grocery Shopping and Bad SushiTarget and Home DepotPorkchops for dinnerCan’t find the movie Crazy Sexy Cancer, recommended by Patti Sullivan, a music friend of mine from Houston. Will check with the library tomorrow. More to come.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Saturday 19
In the wee hours, I do more research and catch up on blogging. I end up writing to my friends and family members who don’t know yet about the cancer to ask them for prayers, good vibes and positive mojo. Immediately, I begin to get some extremely encouraging emails in return and just know that this much love is going to go a long way. I’m so blessed with great friends in my life, I just can’t tell you. They are so amazing and I’m feeling so rich.
Jeff went out to lunch with a friend and I called to break the news to my older sister. I called a client of mine to see if he was okay with my co-worker, Bryan C., taking over some of the listing responsiblities if I became incapacitated and couldn't get it done. He offered up his house for Jeff and I to stay in. Wow. I'm just floored. Then, Bryan C. says that he'll take care of my client and he doesn't want any compensation for it. Wow, again, but Bryan is just this way. I feel so lucky to be friends with Bryan and his wife, Marilyn. I just feel surrounded by beautiful people. (Sorry 'bout the gushing, but sometimes, you gotta gush or cry. I prefer gushing.)
After being seriously gushy, I got on the computer and researched some more, did some yoga and then took a nap in preparation for some evening activities. We went out to dinner with my little sister, Stephanie, (Oh, me loves my Tex-Mex~!) and then we all went to the Black Star Co-op beer social, where you can get 3 beer tickets, listen to live music and people watch all you want. We had a great time and are now charter members of the world’s first beer brew-pub cooperative. Jeff and I are part owners….No, really! =) Jeff is such a beer nerd that we couldn’t resist. Plus, I may be able to get more involved in the brew-pub after I get better. I’d like that.
We come home and watch Space Cowboys. Now, on Sunday, I can’t get the song, “Fly me to the Moon” off my mind! It’s the last song in the movie and I get easily addicted to songs. Yes, I AM Frank Sinatra today….
In the wee hours, I do more research and catch up on blogging. I end up writing to my friends and family members who don’t know yet about the cancer to ask them for prayers, good vibes and positive mojo. Immediately, I begin to get some extremely encouraging emails in return and just know that this much love is going to go a long way. I’m so blessed with great friends in my life, I just can’t tell you. They are so amazing and I’m feeling so rich.
Jeff went out to lunch with a friend and I called to break the news to my older sister. I called a client of mine to see if he was okay with my co-worker, Bryan C., taking over some of the listing responsiblities if I became incapacitated and couldn't get it done. He offered up his house for Jeff and I to stay in. Wow. I'm just floored. Then, Bryan C. says that he'll take care of my client and he doesn't want any compensation for it. Wow, again, but Bryan is just this way. I feel so lucky to be friends with Bryan and his wife, Marilyn. I just feel surrounded by beautiful people. (Sorry 'bout the gushing, but sometimes, you gotta gush or cry. I prefer gushing.)
After being seriously gushy, I got on the computer and researched some more, did some yoga and then took a nap in preparation for some evening activities. We went out to dinner with my little sister, Stephanie, (Oh, me loves my Tex-Mex~!) and then we all went to the Black Star Co-op beer social, where you can get 3 beer tickets, listen to live music and people watch all you want. We had a great time and are now charter members of the world’s first beer brew-pub cooperative. Jeff and I are part owners….No, really! =) Jeff is such a beer nerd that we couldn’t resist. Plus, I may be able to get more involved in the brew-pub after I get better. I’d like that.
We come home and watch Space Cowboys. Now, on Sunday, I can’t get the song, “Fly me to the Moon” off my mind! It’s the last song in the movie and I get easily addicted to songs. Yes, I AM Frank Sinatra today….
Friday, July 18, 2008
Friday 18
I put a call in to Alice at Dr. Bala’s, asking about the patient advocacy information at MD A that she’d mentioned, test results on the blood work, the MRI and what the markers say, etc., and leave her a voicemail. I call Mandy and ask her if she has any word back on the tests and when we can schedule them. She acts baffled and says, “Well, you have to go to your APPOINTMENT before you get any tests done. They won’t be able to do ANY testing before they see you.” It’s like we never spoke the day before. Fine. I resolve to call the patient advocate at MD A but am afraid that they might not want to take my case as a cancer patient if they think I might raise hell. What to do. I’m more concerned about what Mandy might do with future shyer patients who are not as pro-active and insistent about their care.I hear back from Alice. I have arthritis in L1 and L2, in my lower back lumbar region, pretty severe. (I’ve always had pain in my back due to pinched nerves in my neck. This news sucks. Didn’t know about arthritis at all, but I have bigger fish to fry right now.) Yep, the blood work points to carcinoid tumor alright, she gives me the advocacy information (bless her!) and tells me that someone will be calling me so that we can set up an Octreoscan for early next week. It’s a long scan, but painless. OctreoScan – More information to come. Went to lunch with new friend, Janet. Chili’s for nachos and chit-chat. I’m grateful for the distraction and happy to get to know her better. Nice lady! She tells me about the ‘energy program’ that MD Anderson has in their complex and I’m going to look into that further. I think the power of the mind can do wonders for the body. Austin Radiology calls to set up the Octreoscan right as we meet up, though. Be there on Monday morning for an injection. I will be radioactive! I then will have to take my radioactive bootie out shopping or something and then come back to Austin Radiology 4 hours later for a 30 minute long photography session. Then, the next day, I’m to come back in the morning for more scans that’ll last about 2 hours to see how my body has metabolized the injection substance. After some research I find that the injected substance seeks out tumors and the scans take pics of them, if they’re there. Pretty incredible that we have this kind of technology now. I’m there. More information?: http://www.msit.com/qap_oct.html Jeff gets first day of physical therapy and is a little grouchy and alot in pain. Long recovery for him and it’s frustrating. We go out to eat with some friends at NXNW (Pizza!) and watch Phil Wiseman play some great tunes on their back deck. Then, it’s home to rent and watch a movie. We are wild and crazy these days, Mr. Arm in a Sling and Ms. Sleep Deprived.
I put a call in to Alice at Dr. Bala’s, asking about the patient advocacy information at MD A that she’d mentioned, test results on the blood work, the MRI and what the markers say, etc., and leave her a voicemail. I call Mandy and ask her if she has any word back on the tests and when we can schedule them. She acts baffled and says, “Well, you have to go to your APPOINTMENT before you get any tests done. They won’t be able to do ANY testing before they see you.” It’s like we never spoke the day before. Fine. I resolve to call the patient advocate at MD A but am afraid that they might not want to take my case as a cancer patient if they think I might raise hell. What to do. I’m more concerned about what Mandy might do with future shyer patients who are not as pro-active and insistent about their care.I hear back from Alice. I have arthritis in L1 and L2, in my lower back lumbar region, pretty severe. (I’ve always had pain in my back due to pinched nerves in my neck. This news sucks. Didn’t know about arthritis at all, but I have bigger fish to fry right now.) Yep, the blood work points to carcinoid tumor alright, she gives me the advocacy information (bless her!) and tells me that someone will be calling me so that we can set up an Octreoscan for early next week. It’s a long scan, but painless. OctreoScan – More information to come. Went to lunch with new friend, Janet. Chili’s for nachos and chit-chat. I’m grateful for the distraction and happy to get to know her better. Nice lady! She tells me about the ‘energy program’ that MD Anderson has in their complex and I’m going to look into that further. I think the power of the mind can do wonders for the body. Austin Radiology calls to set up the Octreoscan right as we meet up, though. Be there on Monday morning for an injection. I will be radioactive! I then will have to take my radioactive bootie out shopping or something and then come back to Austin Radiology 4 hours later for a 30 minute long photography session. Then, the next day, I’m to come back in the morning for more scans that’ll last about 2 hours to see how my body has metabolized the injection substance. After some research I find that the injected substance seeks out tumors and the scans take pics of them, if they’re there. Pretty incredible that we have this kind of technology now. I’m there. More information?: http://www.msit.com/qap_oct.html Jeff gets first day of physical therapy and is a little grouchy and alot in pain. Long recovery for him and it’s frustrating. We go out to eat with some friends at NXNW (Pizza!) and watch Phil Wiseman play some great tunes on their back deck. Then, it’s home to rent and watch a movie. We are wild and crazy these days, Mr. Arm in a Sling and Ms. Sleep Deprived.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Thursday 17
I wait until 3pm to call Mandy. When I get her, I tell her, “Leigh called from MD Anderson yesterday morning and she set my appointment for July __, 2008 at _:__pm with Dr. Laura Lambert. She told me that you would be calling me with more details about what to do from here. So, what do I need to know?” Mandy says, “Well, you don’t have an appointment yet, but don’t worry ‘cause we have you on the waiting list, um-kaaaay?” What? I get immediate cold sweats. “Mandy, listen, I’m telling you that I already HAVE an appointment and….( I repeat the appointment information again.) Now I need to know what to do.” “No, you don’t have an appointment.” “Yes, I do and I’m supposed to be there 2 hours beforehand to fill out the paperwork!” “You do? Okay, let me check…..Well, yes, there you are!” Silence. “Yes, and now I need to know what to do next….do I talk with Dr. Lambert’s office, fill out paperwork, what do I need to do now?” She tells me that I will need to have some tests run and will probably need to come in before my appointment with Dr. Lambert and that she will get back with me very soon to let me know when and what I need to do in order to get these tests. I’m frustrated with her ineptitude, but hey, I have an appointment and nothing is going to ruin that mood. I tell her that’s fine, I’ll wait to hear back from her.
(Vewwy interesting: Here's what I wrote ON Thurs. the 17th, before I took it upon myself to play catch-up to this time from the time I got appendicitis. When I wrote this, I had insomnia and was free-thinking and researching:)
7/17/08
Well, I woke up at 4am and the brain started spinning. *sigh* Who is Dr. Laura Lambert, can I talk to her prior to our appointment, what are my odds, is waiting until late July going to result in the spread of this cancer, what might be some of the complications, and OH, my gosh, am I unprepared for this OR WHAT?? I figured that I’d be better off checking out the net some more after feeling that some of the questions spinning might be alleviated, so up outta bed, tiptoeing so as not to wake the hubby or the cat. The sky is beginning to lighten now, at 6:08, and a walk seems like a good idea. Seems like I might not be able to go for walks for awhile if I end up with PMP, the result of which would be the MOAS, Mother of All Surgeries, otherwise known as "Debulking." Good gosh, but this surgery scares the bugeebers out of me! Like being flayed alive, shake & bake, and then trussed up like a roast. Essentially, when they go in to remove the right portion of your colon and, in my case, the ovaries, they will also strip the linings off of many organs and then run hot chemotherapy into the abdomen, with a doc in there stirring the solution around like a Halloween witch with her kettle. (Okay, doc, no offense! That was meant metaphorically!) Want to learn more about this procedure? Try this link: http://appendix-cancer.com/Cytoreduction%20Surgery.htm. It’s freakin’ SCARY and rocks my confidence.I’m very much praying that I won’t have to have this procedure. However, having a known Stage 2 Goblet Cell Carcenoid Tumor increases the possibility. I’ll know more within 2 weeks, but the waiting is going to kill me in the meantime. My best bet here is to trust that I will be taken care of by the Love around me and to arm myself with knowledge. To live without knowledge is to live with fear, which I believe is the opposite of Love. That’s not going to happen if I can help it. =)I’m still struggling with the decision on whether or not to tell my beautiful music, Realtor and neighborhood friends about my condition. While to do so would alleviate some of my anxiety ‘cause I KNOW that these lovely people would be sending prayers, good vibes and positive mojo my way, I also do not wish to burden anyone, make them uncomfortable or worry them. I know that many people tend to treat the patient differently after finding out, too. I’ve been a weenie in this regard with a neighbor and wanted to call her but was afraid I’d say something inappropriate or stupid to offend her. So, I only went by once with flowers and sent her a “Get Well!” email once or twice. I thought about her a LOT, though, and wish now that I’d just sent a little email note here and there to let her know that I was thinking about her more often than I had. (Luckily, she's a doll and probably never noticed my weirdness.) I lost a high school friend to breast cancer several years ago and went to visit her on her death bed, though. While it was hard, I’m so glad that I went to visit one last time. This was her second battle with breast cancer and this time, it was just too much for her poor little body. When I visited, she was weak, but resigned and ready to go. What a beautiful soul. We just sat and talked and she told me that she wasn’t scared anymore. Then, less than a week later, she was gone. Why Lori, such a beautiful and vibrant spirit? Why so young? I just don't know but she is very much missed.
I wait until 3pm to call Mandy. When I get her, I tell her, “Leigh called from MD Anderson yesterday morning and she set my appointment for July __, 2008 at _:__pm with Dr. Laura Lambert. She told me that you would be calling me with more details about what to do from here. So, what do I need to know?” Mandy says, “Well, you don’t have an appointment yet, but don’t worry ‘cause we have you on the waiting list, um-kaaaay?” What? I get immediate cold sweats. “Mandy, listen, I’m telling you that I already HAVE an appointment and….( I repeat the appointment information again.) Now I need to know what to do.” “No, you don’t have an appointment.” “Yes, I do and I’m supposed to be there 2 hours beforehand to fill out the paperwork!” “You do? Okay, let me check…..Well, yes, there you are!” Silence. “Yes, and now I need to know what to do next….do I talk with Dr. Lambert’s office, fill out paperwork, what do I need to do now?” She tells me that I will need to have some tests run and will probably need to come in before my appointment with Dr. Lambert and that she will get back with me very soon to let me know when and what I need to do in order to get these tests. I’m frustrated with her ineptitude, but hey, I have an appointment and nothing is going to ruin that mood. I tell her that’s fine, I’ll wait to hear back from her.
(Vewwy interesting: Here's what I wrote ON Thurs. the 17th, before I took it upon myself to play catch-up to this time from the time I got appendicitis. When I wrote this, I had insomnia and was free-thinking and researching:)
7/17/08
Well, I woke up at 4am and the brain started spinning. *sigh* Who is Dr. Laura Lambert, can I talk to her prior to our appointment, what are my odds, is waiting until late July going to result in the spread of this cancer, what might be some of the complications, and OH, my gosh, am I unprepared for this OR WHAT?? I figured that I’d be better off checking out the net some more after feeling that some of the questions spinning might be alleviated, so up outta bed, tiptoeing so as not to wake the hubby or the cat. The sky is beginning to lighten now, at 6:08, and a walk seems like a good idea. Seems like I might not be able to go for walks for awhile if I end up with PMP, the result of which would be the MOAS, Mother of All Surgeries, otherwise known as "Debulking." Good gosh, but this surgery scares the bugeebers out of me! Like being flayed alive, shake & bake, and then trussed up like a roast. Essentially, when they go in to remove the right portion of your colon and, in my case, the ovaries, they will also strip the linings off of many organs and then run hot chemotherapy into the abdomen, with a doc in there stirring the solution around like a Halloween witch with her kettle. (Okay, doc, no offense! That was meant metaphorically!) Want to learn more about this procedure? Try this link: http://appendix-cancer.com/Cytoreduction%20Surgery.htm. It’s freakin’ SCARY and rocks my confidence.I’m very much praying that I won’t have to have this procedure. However, having a known Stage 2 Goblet Cell Carcenoid Tumor increases the possibility. I’ll know more within 2 weeks, but the waiting is going to kill me in the meantime. My best bet here is to trust that I will be taken care of by the Love around me and to arm myself with knowledge. To live without knowledge is to live with fear, which I believe is the opposite of Love. That’s not going to happen if I can help it. =)I’m still struggling with the decision on whether or not to tell my beautiful music, Realtor and neighborhood friends about my condition. While to do so would alleviate some of my anxiety ‘cause I KNOW that these lovely people would be sending prayers, good vibes and positive mojo my way, I also do not wish to burden anyone, make them uncomfortable or worry them. I know that many people tend to treat the patient differently after finding out, too. I’ve been a weenie in this regard with a neighbor and wanted to call her but was afraid I’d say something inappropriate or stupid to offend her. So, I only went by once with flowers and sent her a “Get Well!” email once or twice. I thought about her a LOT, though, and wish now that I’d just sent a little email note here and there to let her know that I was thinking about her more often than I had. (Luckily, she's a doll and probably never noticed my weirdness.) I lost a high school friend to breast cancer several years ago and went to visit her on her death bed, though. While it was hard, I’m so glad that I went to visit one last time. This was her second battle with breast cancer and this time, it was just too much for her poor little body. When I visited, she was weak, but resigned and ready to go. What a beautiful soul. We just sat and talked and she told me that she wasn’t scared anymore. Then, less than a week later, she was gone. Why Lori, such a beautiful and vibrant spirit? Why so young? I just don't know but she is very much missed.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Wednesday 16Morning MD Anderson call – I’m in before August! Grateful call to Alice to let her know. I’m told by a lady named Leigh over at MD Anderson that Mandy will call me later on today to give me more information on what to do from here. Mandy never calls.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Tuesday 15
I call Dr. Bala’s office and ask Nurse Alice what to do about the incredibly inept Mandy situation. She says that she’ll talk to Doc Bala about HER contacting MD Anderson to help facilitate things. I thank her profusely and then settle in to wait again. I’m going to buy her flowers.
MRI morning fun – Claustrophobic fun. (More to come on this later. I'll fill you in on the procedure.)
Can’t do the 24 Hour Urine Collection (5-HIAA) because of the contrast material injection that they give you in order to do a proper MRI, so we’ll put that off ‘til later.
By the way, I'm playing catch up on all the days that I missed between choosing to fully do the blog and having the time to write in-depth about things. Please know that I'll flesh out these days a bit more later on when I have more time....
I call Dr. Bala’s office and ask Nurse Alice what to do about the incredibly inept Mandy situation. She says that she’ll talk to Doc Bala about HER contacting MD Anderson to help facilitate things. I thank her profusely and then settle in to wait again. I’m going to buy her flowers.
MRI morning fun – Claustrophobic fun. (More to come on this later. I'll fill you in on the procedure.)
Can’t do the 24 Hour Urine Collection (5-HIAA) because of the contrast material injection that they give you in order to do a proper MRI, so we’ll put that off ‘til later.
By the way, I'm playing catch up on all the days that I missed between choosing to fully do the blog and having the time to write in-depth about things. Please know that I'll flesh out these days a bit more later on when I have more time....
Monday, July 14th, 2008
Monday 14
Called Mandy to ask about appointment. I finally get her instead of voicemail. She said “We’re still waiting for your records to come in but we’ll call you when they’re here, k?” You have them, I say. No, we don’t. Yes, you do, go check. She checks, comes back, “We have them. Let me get together with the reviewer and we’ll see when we can get you in.” Can you call me back before 5pm today? She says, “Sure thing.” Bull.
I putter around at mom’s during the am ‘til Jeff comes back from his GP appointment. Lunch with Salle at PF Chang’s, doing paperwork and catching upPick up Jeff to go to his shoulder appointment, HUGE line in waiting room. I'm off to pick up Rx, get Gas, do biz stuff at Century 21. I told Denise, the receptionist at work, about the situation because she just told me about a friend of hers who's Dad has cancer. I spend a little time hugging a few fellow Realtors, catching up with news and joking around while I send off a fax and make copies of a contract and then go back to get Jeff.
At 3pm, there still no word from Mandy, so I call her. Get her again! However, now she tells me that she has just checked and my records are all in, telling me not to expect to get in for an appointment for at least 2 weeks, though, because now they needed to be reviewed. But, no worries ‘cause my kind of cancer was slow growing anyway. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. I had told her on day 2 that it was a rare form of cancer reported to be more aggressive than your average appendiceal cancer. I tell her this again. She says, “Oh,really? Let me see if I can find anything sooner.” She signs off and comes back to tell me that they can’t get me in until sometime in August. But, she’ll put me on the waiting list in case someone cancels their appointment. (Or, dies waiting for Mandy to make their appointment.)
I’m just heartbroken and feel like she’s inadvertently postponed my appointment because she didn’t do her job to see if my records were in. I hit rock bottom and cry my eyes out when Jeff gets in the car from his appointment. We go out with Salle for a few beers and talk about other things, thank goodness for the distraction. Then, Jeff and I pack up our stuff and the dog and drive back to Austin.
One ray of sunshine is the verdict on the kitten. On the way back into Austin, we stop by Buck-ees and the cleanest bathrooms in 6 counties again. I ask the cashiers if they have any news on the kitten. The coke machine cleaning lady from before tells me that the kitten is fine, walking around and being fed with an eye dropper by the lady whose hubby works for animal control. Yay and YIPPEE!!!! Coke machine lady tells me that the animal control family is probably going to keep him. DOUBLE yippee!! A ray of sunshine parts the clouds and breaks through my blues for a little while, but doesn't last as long as I'd like it to. I'm still really anxious about the Mandy situation and feel like my best chances are with MD A. Sinking again.....
Deep hole, the biggest that I’ve encountered so far. I consider my options going local and don’t like the idea, but don’t want to wait too long while the Oid gets a better foothold. I start thinking, “I might just die after all.” Not good. This is the attitude that can kill you and it’s the first time I’ve gone negative about the whole thing. After crying for half the night, I vow to do something about it instead of feeling so hopeless.
Called Mandy to ask about appointment. I finally get her instead of voicemail. She said “We’re still waiting for your records to come in but we’ll call you when they’re here, k?” You have them, I say. No, we don’t. Yes, you do, go check. She checks, comes back, “We have them. Let me get together with the reviewer and we’ll see when we can get you in.” Can you call me back before 5pm today? She says, “Sure thing.” Bull.
I putter around at mom’s during the am ‘til Jeff comes back from his GP appointment. Lunch with Salle at PF Chang’s, doing paperwork and catching upPick up Jeff to go to his shoulder appointment, HUGE line in waiting room. I'm off to pick up Rx, get Gas, do biz stuff at Century 21. I told Denise, the receptionist at work, about the situation because she just told me about a friend of hers who's Dad has cancer. I spend a little time hugging a few fellow Realtors, catching up with news and joking around while I send off a fax and make copies of a contract and then go back to get Jeff.
At 3pm, there still no word from Mandy, so I call her. Get her again! However, now she tells me that she has just checked and my records are all in, telling me not to expect to get in for an appointment for at least 2 weeks, though, because now they needed to be reviewed. But, no worries ‘cause my kind of cancer was slow growing anyway. I can’t believe what I’m hearing. I had told her on day 2 that it was a rare form of cancer reported to be more aggressive than your average appendiceal cancer. I tell her this again. She says, “Oh,really? Let me see if I can find anything sooner.” She signs off and comes back to tell me that they can’t get me in until sometime in August. But, she’ll put me on the waiting list in case someone cancels their appointment. (Or, dies waiting for Mandy to make their appointment.)
I’m just heartbroken and feel like she’s inadvertently postponed my appointment because she didn’t do her job to see if my records were in. I hit rock bottom and cry my eyes out when Jeff gets in the car from his appointment. We go out with Salle for a few beers and talk about other things, thank goodness for the distraction. Then, Jeff and I pack up our stuff and the dog and drive back to Austin.
One ray of sunshine is the verdict on the kitten. On the way back into Austin, we stop by Buck-ees and the cleanest bathrooms in 6 counties again. I ask the cashiers if they have any news on the kitten. The coke machine cleaning lady from before tells me that the kitten is fine, walking around and being fed with an eye dropper by the lady whose hubby works for animal control. Yay and YIPPEE!!!! Coke machine lady tells me that the animal control family is probably going to keep him. DOUBLE yippee!! A ray of sunshine parts the clouds and breaks through my blues for a little while, but doesn't last as long as I'd like it to. I'm still really anxious about the Mandy situation and feel like my best chances are with MD A. Sinking again.....
Deep hole, the biggest that I’ve encountered so far. I consider my options going local and don’t like the idea, but don’t want to wait too long while the Oid gets a better foothold. I start thinking, “I might just die after all.” Not good. This is the attitude that can kill you and it’s the first time I’ve gone negative about the whole thing. After crying for half the night, I vow to do something about it instead of feeling so hopeless.
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